One day, a gruff Italian man strode out of

One day, a gruff Italian man strode out of his house to find a pile of dog shit in his front yard. Now, with the full knowledge that he hadn't a dog, he made the quick decision to

ask his next door neighbour , Jim, about it. Jim has a large wrangly mutt by the name of Steve. When asked about the poop, Jim said he didn't know anything about it. So the man

, disbelieving Jim's innocence, bundled it up in tissue paper, tied with a little string, and placed it in Jim's front yard. Let him see what it was like to suddenly step in

it. But lo & behold, when Jim rushed out to see what kind of gift was delivered to him & unwrapped it, he was delighted with what he found! "This is genuine Burmese chocolate!" he

said, spreading the cat pâté on a water biscuit. Also in the box were dried goldfish chips and a tin of spammed dog. Jim had eaten all of his own pets a long time ago & now had to

find something else to snack on. Jim looked out the window and, spying his neighbors delicious-looking puppy, he snuck over the fence & stuffed little Spotty in his backpack. Yum!

He went to 711 & to purchase Kibbles'n'Bits to fatten up Spotty singing "Frogs & snails & puppy dogs tails that's what little boys are made of" when a muffled bark from his backpac

k almost got the clerk's attention. He'd put the puppy in the backpack to teach him a lesson. The 7-11 clerk said, "What?" He said, "Rough. It's been a little rough." The hot dogs

erk observed with lifted disapproving eyebrows. "We don't serve his kind, now take that mutt and skedaddle on home." With heavy heartburn I slunk on outa there.