I had barely survived a Toxoplasma Gonzii

  • I had barely survived a Toxoplasma Gonzii infection, only to have bookworms infect my brain. I danced recklessly over cars during rush hour, lured by paper dust and deckled edges,

  • in the university's rare books room. I donned the bifocals,gray wig,beard & moth-eaten cardigan before entering. Librarians never suspected my disguise. Franklin's laboratory notes

  • were somewhere. Stealing Franklin's notes will make be the greatest thief in history, and the richest. But, I am illiterate. Worse, I know nothing about the Dewy decimal system

  • and I was dyslexic, anyway. I decided to ask the cow librarian ( http://foldingstory.com/h204i/esh4tg/ ) for help, hoping she wouldn't remember my books were overdue last time.

  • "Oh, you again," she said. Dammit! The cow librarian recognized me immediately. "Um...hello. I want to apologize for my poor behavior last time I was here." I said. Her brown eyes

  • filled with tears, she mooed softly & deposited a large pat in the self check-out area. "Um... may I.. for my roses?" I said & shovelled it into my handbag. The cow librarian stern

  • ly stared at me then gave me a fat lick. Uh. Cow saliva all over my face. The smell of dung was already overbearing and I just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible.

  • But how could I ride the subway without being kicked off by the odour police? Nonethelesx, I made a run for the blue line and met Elvis the Siamese cat, who was on his way to the

  • red line. The odour police were not far behind. I look at Elvis the cat, and pleaded for help. Reluctantly, he agreed and farted a stinky fart. The odour police's beady eyes moved

  • to Elvis. They threw up their hands. Another farting cat! As they left, the U.S. odor police showed up with their high tech electronic sensors & promptly detained me indefinitely.



  1. Gibber Apr 23 2016 @ 14:37

    I once got on a bus, sat down and smelled poop. I looked around, looked under the seat, checked my shoes, opened the window. When I got off the bus I noticed the guy sitting behind me had a 25 pound sack of steer manure.

  2. Flopp Apr 23 2016 @ 14:40

    What's steer manure gibber?

  3. Gibber Apr 23 2016 @ 14:56

    The excrement of a castrated male bovine, which can be used to direct the course of a vessel, airplane, or other vehicle.

  4. Flopp Apr 23 2016 @ 16:05

    Ah very informative. I'll be sure to tell my friends about this fun fact :D

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