I drink therefore I

I drink therefore I

am therefore I drink which

means I am drinking most of the time. But you would too if you made the mistake of buying a trailor in Death Valley. Nothing I could do but turn my property into a place where

I charged top dollar to roast meat and other comestibles just by slapping them onto the tin roof of my trailer. In no time I saved enough to move out of Death Valley to cooler

accomodation in Ontario. My problem was that my new apartment in Ontario didn't have any heating and a window in my bedroom was jammed open. Pigeons would

mock me, I just knew it. Some birds flaunt plumage, pigeons flaunt heaters, so says the Ebony Ornithologist magazine before me. I built a fire in my bedroom to ward off Ontario's

swig to wash down my squirrel-on-a-stick. "Ahh this is the life.." I lay back in my innertube paddling idly. After the incident with the Hoover dam.. These remote backwaters seemed

like a better extraction point. Having lost my beacon, I signaled my ship using the paddles I had coated with radioactive Vaseline. I then pronounced the words "Drak fepu", meanin

g "SAVE ME!"... Or so I thought. My Twonverinian was a bit rusty, and I'd actually said, "PRESERVE MY BODY!" The ship sprayed preservation gel on me, which made me into a statue.