Looking back, it occurred to me that man-slapping

Looking back, it occurred to me that man-slapping was not considered the proper response to Steve's comment. Alas,

I had a form of anxiety that expressed in dope-slapping the forehead, and every time he said that, Steve deserved

a strong backhand. Years of youth tennis had perfected my technique. Before I began taking drugs for my anxiety slaps,

I couldn't be trusted around small children or pets. I often wore a straightjacket to stifle the urge. From time to time

I would forget, but I told myself, 'one time won't hurt'. And I was right: it didn't hurt. Me. It would be for those damned gerbils though. he HATED gerbils above all else. They

got into your underwear drawer and pooped in your socks. Those annoying squeaks in the middle of the night. I had had enough. I let the cat in before taking a shower and

let her roam freely around the house (even though she was an outdoor cat only) hoping she'd catch those blasted mice.

The mice liked to come out of their holes and taunt me with machine guns that were loaded with the softest brie I've ever tasted. I'm still amazed at