Too late. My time has come. Sends shivers

Too late. My time has come. Sends shivers down my spine. Body's aching all the time. Goodbye everybody. I've got to go. Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth.

The truth is...I cannot do the fandango. Mama Mia sent a bolt of lightning, very very frightening. Oh Mama Mia, Mama Mia, Mama Mia let me go! I'm just a poor boy from a poor family

I'll turn all the fat-bottomed girls into little skinny-assed stringy-haired groupies!" We certainly couldn't have that, so I gave Freddie mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, bringing

an edgy homo-erotic flair to the occasion. Potpourri rained from the ceiling and a fabulous glitter rainbow appeared over us. "Hallelujah!" erupted Freddie. "I dedicate this

to myself." Freddie was an edgy homo-erotic

hipster with a beard and a lime green fedora that he described as "ironic" but did nothing for his complexion. Freddy was proud of his hat and often wore it to Blue Clyde concerts

It was from the millinery shop at Broadway and Addison in the midst of Chicago's hippest area, East Lakeview. Hipsters from all over the city bought hats to match their beards.

For example: Mel Gibson came in and purchased the Beer Mug hat; Seth Rogen opted for the Bong hat; James Franco bought the Nickel Bag hat, and George Clooney paid top dollar for

the Swiss Army Hat, which allowed him to use his head for just about anything. Too bad he couldn't say "Go Go Gadget Brains!" and make himself any smarter. C'est la vie, I guess.