The statue of Phatty McButterpants is proudly

The statue of Phatty McButterpants is proudly displayed on my parents fireplace mantel. It's an embarrassing story, but since I've gotten you this far, I'll tell you. Phatty was my

personal trainer, for years and years. Oh sure, she herself was not svelte in the least, but Phatty McButterpants could open a can of whoop-ass in the gym. One time Phatty made me

one of her special tacos where the shell was made out of Doritos. I told my friend who worked at Taco Bell and they wisked Phatty McButterpants and I away. We were orally pleasured

when we visited the Disco Dentist. I called him that since he always played disco music and wore flared pants that were tight enough in the crotch you could see his balls separate

in some sort of male camel toe. His enormous fro had to make dentistry difficult at the very least, and I lived in fear every time I got my teeth cleaned of finding a curly hair

lovingly inserted into the envelope containing his extortionate invoice. I wanted to find another dentist but no one understood my incisors like he did and caressed my molars with

steel wool. Not recommended. I fired that dentist so fast it'd make your head spin. I needed a lawyer. I put on my best suit and slapped a shit ton of after shave on. I stomped

the yard, which really got the jury on my side. When our stomp faded to a tap, my court-appointed lawyer spoke up. "Your Honor, that dentist is negli-... Yuck, is that aftershave?"

"Your out of order" Bailiff get him out of my court room. And please take off that silly star wars costume. As I shuffled out of the court breathhing heavy through my mask I yelled