He looked at them, torn. A blonde, a brunette

He looked at them, torn. A blonde, a brunette and a raven-haired beauty. They all gazed at him in expectation, waiting for him to choose one of them. He knits his brow and finally

-e live audience howls. The wedding was to be at the Crystal Chuck E. Cheese palace. The Scarecrow prince had written his on vowels and the Native American chick had totally

learnt how to read vowels in morse code. A message was sent to the wedding party from a submarine off the coast of Madagascar where the Bride's cousin Officer SittingStill

Forever, a distant descendent of the ignoble Commanche leader Chief Running Away Ex Post Haste, was busy staring into empty jar of olives. When the submarine struck an outcropping,

the olive jar smashed onto the floor. Forever muttered a stifled curse & mopped up the extra virgin oil before raising the periscope. They were stuck on a piece of New York which

was suffering from an olive oil shortage due to the blockade. Forever cursed again. "Tomorrow, man the torpedoes," she said. "We're finishing this recipe if it kills you!"

"I'd rather not die over a pot of spaghetti sauce," I seethed. "Make it with what's left of the canola oil!" Her eyes burned, "You are not my son! My nice Italian son would get me

me what I want like a good boy." "OK Ma, for 50 bucks, I'll be good," came my retort. She gesticulated wildly and said, "Oh yeah? When I was your age I was good fah nothin'."

My ma...What I wouldn't give to see her just one last time. I'd give her back her 50 bucks and hug her 'til the cows come home.