14.5

"The almighty dollar vs. the Almighty" read

  • "The almighty dollar vs. the Almighty" read the marquee. How US currency got top billing over the Lord is a question

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  • best left unanswered. That's how these "Yankees" do things up here in New York City though. They could do with some

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  • down home southern manners. Like my Momma always said, "if the crock gets your shoe, then you've

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  • got to make a new pair with her babies." Momma was a blunt women. But no more blunt than Pa who routinely

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  • liked to smack Momma around, he would tell the kids it was just for

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  • charity. Momma was a fund-raising Sumo Wrestler... the best there was, apparently. Together they raised over $200 for Make Sumo Co-ed, a fund they started. How

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  • they would know where those things go, I never knew, but Momma and Jeff were pros at this sort of thing. Jeff hiked his big-boy diapers with ease and heaved them over his sholder

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  • and looked at mom. It was just another day's work in the adult fetish porn business for them. As for me, I was trying to break the cycle. I went to law school to be able to move

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  • the legal wing of our porn business into the twenty-first century. The real money wasn't in the shot, it lay in torrid orgies of unauthorized bits on hard drive. Copyright thieves

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  • can steal all the recipes they want. Ha Ha, recipes cannot be copyrighted. I remember that law class. The professor was found of repeating the phrase, "Pacific Rim," what the

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  • fuck ever that meant. I always connected it with polynesian kink play, but apparently the professor meant something entirely different. I then shared my Swedish recipe for poi

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  • .Then what he did got me off the hook, he took the recipe made a paper airplane of that and threw it flying in the air, going out of window it fell in front of a little girl

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  • i know i know... paper planes are not for flying to my grand maa

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  • ..but they certainly come in handy when you're bored and you have nothing to play with! I mean ... I know you can't fly with them, but at least you can

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  • pretend to be Tinkerbell with the miniature pink wings. As I strapped them on, pink sparkles began to emanate from my rump, and a wand appeared in my hand. I flew to the castle,

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  • where to my surprise, I found a pile of cash and a brand new car! Monty Hall was standing at the entryway, blocking the path from intruders. He asked me, "

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  • Where the hell do you think you're going?"and then Monty told me to turn the car around but I gave him some of the cash and he led me thru the gates into the factory and Jon

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  • pulled a gun on me! The dirty rat double crossed me before I had a chance to back stab him! Monty told me to turn the car back around, and I was rapidly losing track of

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  • just why I had left the seminary in the first place. "Papa, please forgive me" I shouted as I dove for the gun. Just then, the man hugs me and says, "Welcome to the family!"

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  • I wept. Just this once I wept. Wept for what could have been. I cocked the swine green gun and sprayed water over him. "I'm melting!" he said. Stupid warlock.

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