"The almighty dollar vs. the Almighty" read

"The almighty dollar vs. the Almighty" read the marquee. How US currency got top billing over the Lord is a question

best left unanswered. That's how these "Yankees" do things up here in New York City though. They could do with some

down home southern manners. Like my Momma always said, "if the crock gets your shoe, then you've

got to make a new pair with her babies." Momma was a blunt women. But no more blunt than Pa who routinely

liked to smack Momma around, he would tell the kids it was just for

charity. Momma was a fund-raising Sumo Wrestler... the best there was, apparently. Together they raised over $200 for Make Sumo Co-ed, a fund they started. How

they would know where those things go, I never knew, but Momma and Jeff were pros at this sort of thing. Jeff hiked his big-boy diapers with ease and heaved them over his sholder

and looked at mom. It was just another day's work in the adult fetish porn business for them. As for me, I was trying to break the cycle. I went to law school to be able to move

can steal all the recipes they want. Ha Ha, recipes cannot be copyrighted. I remember that law class. The professor was found of repeating the phrase, "Pacific Rim," what the

fuck ever that meant. I always connected it with polynesian kink play, but apparently the professor meant something entirely different. I then shared my Swedish recipe for poi

.Then what he did got me off the hook, he took the recipe made a paper airplane of that and threw it flying in the air, going out of window it fell in front of a little girl

i know i know... paper planes are not for flying to my grand maa

..but they certainly come in handy when you're bored and you have nothing to play with! I mean ... I know you can't fly with them, but at least you can

pretend to be Tinkerbell with the miniature pink wings. As I strapped them on, pink sparkles began to emanate from my rump, and a wand appeared in my hand. I flew to the castle,

where to my surprise, I found a pile of cash and a brand new car! Monty Hall was standing at the entryway, blocking the path from intruders. He asked me, "

Where the hell do you think you're going?"and then Monty told me to turn the car around but I gave him some of the cash and he led me thru the gates into the factory and Jon

pulled a gun on me! The dirty rat double crossed me before I had a chance to back stab him! Monty told me to turn the car back around, and I was rapidly losing track of

just why I had left the seminary in the first place. "Papa, please forgive me" I shouted as I dove for the gun. Just then, the man hugs me and says, "Welcome to the family!"

I wept. Just this once I wept. Wept for what could have been. I cocked the swine green gun and sprayed water over him. "I'm melting!" he said. Stupid warlock.