There's something most people don't understand

There's something most people don't understand about being a zombie. You're not hungry for brains. Not really. What you really crave is

lecithin, not brains per se. Happy to be so witty still. Never told anyone I had died, so I can still place orders online. But someday my credit will run out and

I'll have to move back in with my mother. Too bad she's still using a bedazzler. She ruins all her jean jackets. But you know, those stupid metallic studs once saved my life. Well,

encrust a garment which is vital to my health and well-being with diamanté. I sparkled as I ran under the street lamps on my early morning jogs. A pack of mesmerised dogs chased me

y glittery tail down the boardwalk at dawn one day. A group of wobbly seamen on shore leave glimpsed my predicament. They laughed at first, but then offered to distract the dogs by

singing an old diddy "I was trapsing down the boardwalk one fine morn' when I saw I sorry fellow who was quite forlorn, he'd dipped his fishing pole in cupcake glitter, hoping for

some vermouth & bitters. La-la-la, tra-la, deedle-diddy-day!" A pleasant lilting tune it was, whimsical to match his mood. A crowd began to gather. Someone pulled out an accordian

and the crowd began to frolic & caper to the accordion music, gaily skipping, cavorting & gamboling about the bus stops and litter in the gutters and it was all fun and games until

the terrifying ghost of Lawrence Welk appeared in a swirl of bubbles. "An-na one, An-na two!" he screamed, hitting me with his baton.Then he snatched the accordion & POOF was gone.