All she could hear was silence, wrapping

  • All she could hear was silence, wrapping around like a thick blanket. No, The silence. Silence of space, not able to carry any sound.

  • But able to carry solar winds and neutrinos. The thought made her tired. Then hungry. Then tired. Then angry. She had been in the Solitary Confinement Pod for...twenty-three

  • yrs! But she said "300 yrs solitary due to time dilation, bastards!" She should be entering the red dwarf system any day; Exile on Gliese 581 gamma! The pod's computer announced, "

  • Now entering the Gliese 581 solar system." The cargo bay doors opened. Old people were sucked out of the ship and into the red dwarf. Another announcement: "Mission

  • ary Position Impossible." The middle-age boomers were next...sucked into the blue dwarf like dust into a Hoover vacuum cleaner. The MotherDwarfShip disappeared then into the sky

  • and there was suddenly a great disturbance in the force, as if thousands of voices aboard the MotherDwarfShip cried out in terror...and were silenced. Kind of like when yo' momma

  • tore into all those Keeblers when they refused to give up their cookies. The MotherDwarfShip drifted silently through rumblespace, all of its small voices stilled. The boarding p

  • olice scanned all the cargo as it was loaded onto the vessel. The boarding police gathered around a suspicious crate that was leaking green fluid. The MotherDwarfShip was late

  • but that didn't bother the police who had all day. The fluid leaking out of the crate started fizzling and dissolved the steel floor of the deck. The crate dropped through, onto

  • the shipment of Dunkin' Donuts which were later devoured by the cops. And you wonder why cops are such assholes? That's why.



  1. BlastedHeath Jun 04 2014 @ 23:31

    The police I know are well-intended people in a very difficult and stressful position.

  2. SlimWhitman Jun 05 2014 @ 05:17

    Point taken! I presume we're talking about the MotherDwarfShip cops - doesn't seem like the ship is part of a benevolent plan.

  3. PurpleProf Jun 05 2014 @ 13:14

    Jefforama knows that, BlastedHeath... We've got police officers in our own family. He's just mad right now because he got pulled over for speeding a couple of weeks ago...going 29 mph in a 25 mph zone. BTW, for those of you who don't know, jefforama is my better half. ;)

  4. lucielucie Jun 05 2014 @ 16:29

    You and Jefforama?? How long's this been going on?

  5. PurpleProf Jun 05 2014 @ 16:30

    Ohhhh, about 25 years. ;) He keeps me laughing...most of the time.

  6. m80 Jun 05 2014 @ 23:19

    That is so cool that we have a real-life couple on the site! The closest we had to that before was Slim and Slim's Bro, but Bro isn't writing so much these days. (How's he doing, Slim?) I must say, Purple Prof, in addition to having a sense of humor that rivals yours, your husband is quite photogenic.

  7. PurpleProf Jun 06 2014 @ 21:05

    Isn't he, though?! I love him.

  8. lucielucie Jun 07 2014 @ 03:49

    FS Power Couple, Purplejeffor...

  9. lucielucie Jun 07 2014 @ 05:24


  10. m80 Jun 08 2014 @ 09:10


  11. SlimWhitman Jun 08 2014 @ 12:48

    Maybe this will cheer up Prof. Jefforamapurpurobama: http://foldingstory.com/tncf1/

  12. PurpleProf Jun 08 2014 @ 13:15

    A few years back, my students dubbed me "The Purple Professor." Jefforama and I are frequently referred to as "The Purple People." Violette is actually our last name!

  13. lucielucie Jun 08 2014 @ 13:21

    Were they referring to your clothes, your prose or your nose? (totally just kidding btw)

  14. PurpleProf Jun 08 2014 @ 13:23

    Who nose...uh, knows?!

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