The last time I saw Frank my door was flying

The last time I saw Frank my door was flying off it's hinges, as he barreled into my living room ready to pound my head flat. I couldn't really blame him, as hours ago I had

I had totally jacked into his Wi-Fi and watched Family Guy. It's not really my fault, he didn't passcode protect his Wi Fi which pretty much means that

I'd crouch in his bushes and watch Hulu all night. But one time his Wi-Fi was pretty laggy so I taped a piece of paper that read "Stop Downloading Porn" to a brick and chucked it

through his window. Surprising, this ploy worked, for he did stop downloading porn. But he also called the police. Now, ordinarily, I'd be worried about this, but this time, I

crazy trying to hide my true self, however. My supporters had no idea I was an underground porn star known simply as "Lips." I assumed the conservatives would never find out, but

one of them was traveling on the tube in rush hour when I was filming a scene. Porn in crowded carriages is challenging and my foot was stuck in the face of... my biggest political

foe, the Veterinary Lobbyists. Ever since we filmed a scene with a blind person being lead by a guide dog the Veterinary Lobbyists have been lobbying against the porn industry

and when Willen Dafoe accepted the invitation to direct and star in the next xxx rated movie,we thought we could celebrate,but still the Veterinary Lobbysts were against

it."Too much musk.",they said.And just like that,the production was shut.The moose felt the most.