Captain Carpathia was, to put it mildly,

Captain Carpathia was, to put it mildly, not one of the A-list superheroes. Sure, he had an origin story (something that involved a radioactive toilet plunger and a goat named

Stevie. He also had a pretty cool mountain stronghold and was the last scion of destitute nobles. But Captain Carpathia lacked any notable superpowers, except for

generating and releasing toxic farts on command. It was surprising when captain carpathia let one rip by accident causing Stevie to choke and foam at the mouth. The nobles

were always pretending their toots didn't stank but the servants knew whose room to avoid in the early hours after a long night of feasting and drinking. Sir Gregory's pantaloons

no cure for what they'd imbibed on last night. Prince Harry belched just as the Queen strolled into the drawing room. Charles snickered and turned towards Camilla who promptly

flatulated and quickly sat down hoping her tweed skirt would cover the smell. The Queen sniffed disdainfully, glaring at Charles. "Mum...uh..." he said, and pointed at Prince Harry

whose kilt wasn't flapping because of the Scottish breeze my pidgeon. All the royal family had partaken of the whisky-marinated Haggis & the curse of bagpipe bowels was upon 'em.

Sean Connery it turns out had the last laugh. He guffawed in only the way a whiskered old Scotts man can. He leveled his gaze at the Royal Family and sneered, "Well now you what it

knows can am being what for to do now, Bill Nye?" And then Patrick Stewart quipped back with his own cherry [sic] bon mot: "Have am only to not for with to thy heed." They smiled.