Fear of snakes, spiders, sharks, dinosaurs,

Fear of snakes, spiders, sharks, dinosaurs, cockroaches, birds, ants, rats, barracuda had all been exploited in the cinema, but my movie would exploit the little known fear of

that feeling you get when tilt your chair all the way back and then catch yourself at the last minute. SyFy channel bought the rights and filming starts in two weeks. For a star, I

casted my brother Dennis who just got out of rehab and needed the gig. He would play both title characters in Ultracop vs. Timethief, two brothers torn apart by time and law.

In the climactic fight scene, Ultracop unleashed a fury of punches inhumanly fast. Timethief, able to skip around through time, was able to dodge them all but couldn't retaliate.

That was until he enlisted the help of MegaDonut Man, who, through the Gods of Sugar and Fat had amazing powers. MegaDonut Man and Timethief went after Ultracop through

the time rift. It was an epic journey fraught with action and marvelous adventure. But it was destined to end in disaster. MegaDonut Man had a problem squeezing his

near-empty tube of toothpaste, but as MegaDonutMan had robot teeth, this was a moot point. He shot donut projectiles from his arm that rolled along the ground and up walls & shit.

MegaDonutMan's tears mingled with the sugar snow and it made him feel better to lick it while he was waiting....waiting to die. Deep inside his soul, he heard his mother's voice

"If you'd married a cheesecake like I'd said then you wouldn't be in this position now. You should have listened to your mother. I know best." MegaDonutMan died and escaped the nag