Earth had finally settled down to a simmer,
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Earth had finally settled down to a simmer, and the Galactic Ambassadors were about to introduce themselves with a cough or whatever, but Earth went all spooky in springtime and
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started having birthing pains. Unfamliar with planetary contractions they crowded in to give advice on tectonic tendanitis when Earth gave birth to the moon wiping out the Galactic
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miasma in a tri-cosmic, semiorgasmic, small bang, pan-dimensional flexing of its ancient, star filled vagina. That's right V A G I N A!
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The director told Rosie O'Donnel, "Look, this is the vagina monologue, not the vagina rants." Rosie screwed up her face, took a deep breath and
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let it out. But her face didn't return to normal, it stayed screwed up like parents warn their kids about. Rosie grabbed a mirror. "My God! I'm hideous! Look away! Look away you
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bastard!" She quickly left the bathroom and went running into the meadow. She tripped over a rock and went head first into the brush. Stumbling to her feet, she glanced back to the
9 -
sea only to find that it had vanished. She crept to the beach and looked over edge; sand slowly slid off and disappeared into the abyss. No planets. No stars. Just nothing. She had
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suspected the void...even wrote about it. The others had laughed at her, outwardly riduculed her theory of nothingness."Well who's laughing now?" she giggled, but no one was there.
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The door slammed as the attendant brought her lukewarm lunch.She didn't notice, lost in her state of nothingness. "Hey lady, you want your lunch? Creamed corn & ham today." he said
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. She said nothing so he put the tray on the floor beside her and left her to her thoughts.
8
- Started
- 2012-04-10 23:11:58
- Finished
- 2013-10-26 13:02:10
23 Comments
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PurpleProf Oct 26 2013 @ 13:16
"My God! I'm hideous! Look away! Look away you bastard!" :) But then the sad ending. Poor Rosie O'Donnell.
SlimWhitman Oct 26 2013 @ 15:01
Don't worry about Rosie. Her inner world is boundless.
lucielucie Oct 26 2013 @ 17:42
This reminded me of the J Donne quote 'Yet nothing can to nothing fall' - the end bit, I mean, not the vagina part - I haven't got a quote for that.
hamstak Oct 26 2013 @ 18:23
Any quote for that would likely begin "There once was a man from Nantucket..."
lucielucie Oct 27 2013 @ 03:28
Hahaha hamstak!
49erFaithful Oct 28 2013 @ 13:59
I believe it was Robespierre who said "What's in a name? That which we call a bearded clam by any other name would smell as sweet" Wait ... is that right?
lucielucie Oct 28 2013 @ 17:42
lol - sounds good to me, 49er. I knew I'd sound like a bit of a twonk putting that quote up.
49erFaithful Oct 28 2013 @ 23:08
Hey, more power to ya lucie! I appreciate bringing a bit of intellect into the mix. It's just so much easier to play the wiseass.... To your health!
lucielucie Oct 29 2013 @ 03:17
Cheers!
lucielucie Nov 25 2013 @ 14:52
Inspired by Chaz, I read out this story - it's not bad read out loud. Hope the link works... http://www.mediafire.com/listen/0d07j9h51h1g8am/Nothing.wav
KieferSkunk Nov 25 2013 @ 15:03
Nice! I'm going to have to do a reading of a couple of my favorites now..
Chaz Nov 25 2013 @ 18:42
LucieLucie! Your voice is very lyrical. I enjoyed your reading!
lucielucie Nov 26 2013 @ 09:52
Ta KieferSkunk & Chaz. Looking forward to other stories... just sayin...
KieferSkunk Nov 27 2013 @ 00:41
I'm jumping on the bandwagon - here's a reading of one my recent favorites. :) Linked from http://foldingstory.com/o151w/
KieferSkunk Nov 27 2013 @ 00:56
...and just did another one here: http://foldingstory.com/fs9qm/
KieferSkunk Nov 27 2013 @ 01:10
...okay, I promise this is the last one for now: http://foldingstory.com/lz3aj/ (2)
BlastedHeath Nov 27 2013 @ 17:35
That was a very nice reading, lucielucie!
lucielucie Nov 28 2013 @ 13:37
Thanks, BlastedHeath... I hope you feel a reading coming on!
MoralEnd Nov 29 2013 @ 19:01
Fantastic read Lucielucie. It was a casserole of passion and concentrated intensity. Your reading's only peer was the manifold zany creativity that only this game can produce.
lucielucie Nov 30 2013 @ 17:20
Thanks MoralEnd! I agree with you about the creativity of this game.
49erFaithful Dec 02 2013 @ 12:10
This is awesome! Will definitely be contributing when I can. Is there a Chaz reading out there on another thread? Maybe I'll find it on my own, I know I have some catching up to do... Side note: speaking of zany creativity, if any of you haven't heard of, or tried the game called Cards Against Humanity, I recommend giving it a go. You can either buy the cards online or download and print them yourselves, but you won't find them in stores. Funny stuff.
lucielucie Dec 02 2013 @ 13:57
Chaz's story is on this thread: https://foldingstory.com/swjzb/
49erFaithful Dec 02 2013 @ 16:52
Thank ya!