63

It all began when my father first saw the

  • It all began when my father first saw the Djinn. Before I could warn him, he said "Jesus H. Christ on a bicycle." And there he was. How was I going to explain this to

    7
  • mother? But before I could formulate a plan, Jesus dismounted and strode toward us. "'Sup?" he asked. Father was even more confused, seeing firsthand both a Genie and now Jesus.

    6
  • father was more confused because Jesus was using early 21st century slang. Where were the trumpets? How did Jesus get through the border between Mexico and Arizona?

    9
  • These were all questions that would never be revealed for another 2000 years. Jesus took his father and made him promise not to tell anyone a little secret he had kept for a very

    3
  • long time. He really was coming again, not as savior of the world, but as Jason Forsyth of Bennetville, a mild-mannered fish farmer. That didn't have the zing that Peter wanted

    6
  • so he gave him a buxom blonde wife with a penchant for overspending, and a zany neighbor that always stopped by with some hair-brained scheme to get rich. One day, Jason's fish

    6
  • evolved into a reptilian humanoid. I was mowing the lawn when I saw the creature crawl out of Jason's pool. I thought that maybe if I could catch the thing, I really could get rich

    8
  • . I hid behind a shrubbery and attempted to use a tree frog call. With a soft squelch, the lizard man approached my backyard. I leaped out and grabbed its slippery ankle. Pay-dirt!

    8
  • Literally! I freaked the lizard man out so bad he crapped his loin cloth and ran off hissing into the underbrush. I gingerly brushed off his cucumber sized turd and

    4
  • wore the loincloth on my head as a trophy. Banging my chest and standing on the park bench, I roared so loud I disrupted the nearby birthday party. I threw the cake on the ground.

    6

1 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman May 31 2011 @ 18:50

    Very nice. I like the juxtaposition of Jesus' second coming and Darwinian evolution.

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!