June woke up and instantly realized she was

June woke up and instantly realized she was still dressed in her Renaissance Fair costume. She immediately regretted being cajoled into wearing it. She also realized she lay on a

fell fifty feet into an ocean of treacle, where she was caught up by the current. She drifted in her drug-induced haze for what seemed like a hundred miles, until she reached

outskirts of a syrup swamp. Still coming down from her trip, she schlumped her body to the dry land. An elf walked by. "WELCOME TO SUGARLANDIA." She eyed him, "Oooh, flashback."

Then the elf slapped my girlfriend and said, "This is candy land bitch!"

So I grabbed the punk elf, got him in a headlock and said "You're way outta pocket now you pint-sized midget!" I threw him up against the base of the Gumdrop Mountains. But then 4

more of his midget friends came at me. I wondered why they looked so familiar. It was like there were only the same twenty or so elves working this damn operation. Fuck the shoes

had those useless spirals at the tips with bells hanging off of them. I just about pissed myself laughing at them. Well they weren't amused. It was part of their corporate identity

and soon I faced their corporate lawyer firing squad. As they marched into place their jester hat bells jingled. "Any last words?"

"No." I replied, barely able to control my naked terror. I cringed as the lawyers raised their muskets and aimed for my heart.... and then without warning I WOKE UP WITH A START!!!