Ryu looked at his fallen opponent. He knew

Ryu looked at his fallen opponent. He knew that he was a champion and that he would be abused as a Capcom icon from that point on.

Ryu won't resist the Awesomness of the Guile's Theme. He could, but the internetz liked it too much that even Megaman pwned Ryu to his funeral. After that

Mario became totally depressed. He drove his cart over into the wrong side of town. He didn't recognize the graphics here. He almost ran over a prostitute when this maniac

starting shouting "HOMEY LET'S GO ROLL ON SOME BUSTAS". Everywhere around Mario was anger, hate, bigotry, and nothing to live for. He drove warily past ugly box-like buildings

on teh internets, unfortunately so was a lack of understanding simple English. Two guys jumped him and force an enema bottle up his arse shouting, "We are the colonal bandits, take

a whiff of our Philly cheese-steak sandwich before we dislocate a shoulder blade!" The two men commenced shoving the sour cream filled enema bottle up his rectum. Tiny elves began

giggling and clapping, chanting "Hercules, Hercules!" What kind of horrible nightmare is this? Elves, sour cream, two thugs beating him up? He was conscious enough to realize that

a ticking noise was coming from the cupboard underneath the stairs. The lights flickered and a green and red glow was coming from the window outside. A frosty breeze blew the door

right open! As I looked through, I could see a large red figure with a fluffy white beard and rosy, frost-nipped cheeks. Santa had come to give me all that I wanted.