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Ryu looked at his fallen opponent. He knew

  • Ryu looked at his fallen opponent. He knew that he was a champion and that he would be abused as a Capcom icon from that point on.

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  • Ryu won't resist the Awesomness of the Guile's Theme. He could, but the internetz liked it too much that even Megaman pwned Ryu to his funeral. After that

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  • Mario became totally depressed. He drove his cart over into the wrong side of town. He didn't recognize the graphics here. He almost ran over a prostitute when this maniac

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  • starting shouting "HOMEY LET'S GO ROLL ON SOME BUSTAS". Everywhere around Mario was anger, hate, bigotry, and nothing to live for. He drove warily past ugly box-like buildings

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  • and billboards with vitriolic party slogans extolling the virtues of clonal purity.Just one more block,he'd be home with his loving little hunchback wife. Anonymity was a blessing

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  • on teh internets, unfortunately so was a lack of understanding simple English. Two guys jumped him and force an enema bottle up his arse shouting, "We are the colonal bandits, take

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  • a whiff of our Philly cheese-steak sandwich before we dislocate a shoulder blade!" The two men commenced shoving the sour cream filled enema bottle up his rectum. Tiny elves began

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  • giggling and clapping, chanting "Hercules, Hercules!" What kind of horrible nightmare is this? Elves, sour cream, two thugs beating him up? He was conscious enough to realize that

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  • a ticking noise was coming from the cupboard underneath the stairs. The lights flickered and a green and red glow was coming from the window outside. A frosty breeze blew the door

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  • right open! As I looked through, I could see a large red figure with a fluffy white beard and rosy, frost-nipped cheeks. Santa had come to give me all that I wanted.

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