I dated a girl once by the name of Debbie

I dated a girl once by the name of Debbie Teeth who went by the nickname Spooky Tooth. Seems that I broke her heart, so she busted my jaw, and I had to eat my food through a straw.

Soon after, I bought myself an electric skateboard, took a cross-country trip to Utah, and married three women...all named Crystal. Then I started drinking heavily.

Not sure when my Kool-Aid problem got out of hand. Perhaps when I drank 30L without spilling on my white shirt. Whatever the case, I needed distraction from my 3 nasty wives.

Nasty Wife #1 suggested I go jump off a cliff. Nasty Wife #2 had already left me for another man more capable of drinking Kool-Aid without burping. Nasty Wife #3, well, she was

n't really nasty, she just left me because I was so grumpy about Nasty Wives #1 and 2. Wife #3 was kind and understanding, but smelled a bit off since I never paid the water bills.

But it's Wives #5 and #6 I really miss. They never said a word to vex me, although I did have their tongues removed so I guess the credit is due back to me.

However, do not speak of Wife #7. She has done terrible awful things. The most awful of which being: Seven ate Nine.

Wife #10 isn't my wife yet. She is only ten right now. I have a few years to wait for the marriage. Everything is in order and the whole temple knows we're betrothed. I doubt I'll

i will have to find wife #13, a demonic behemoth who will ultimately bring an end to the cycle by consuming the blood in my body up tothe last drip.Only then will my wifes be free.