My dog woofed at me and I said what do you

My dog woofed at me and I said what do you want Peanut Butter. He talked to me and my mother said WTF hahah my dogs such a douche Camel. my mother is also my sister

My mum puts peanut butter in my anus and my Dog licks it like a water bowl

So then Angela walked in and took my favorite mechanical pencil. YOU BITCH! I yelled as she ran down the hall with it.

"God! I freaking HATE this school!", she snarled. Angela's teeth were clenched she was gripping my pencil like she wanted to stab me next. "Don't look at me like that, I'm not th

e one that burned down the school library! That was you! Where am I going to loan my Harry Potter books from?" she screamed at me, holding the pencil close to my neck, snarling.

Secretly, I loved when she got aggressive like this. I feigned terror & pretended to struggle in her arms. "Sorry about burning down the library. Please don't stab me!" I grinned.

Then I pushed my hips against her when we hugged. I could smell the mothballs on her sweater. Real wool. I was going to crack the binding on this librarian right here.

Unbeknownst to me and my obscure sexual reference, the librarian was holding a priceless book from the 1200's, which I actually cracked the binding on. "Dude, my fucking book! What

the fuck have you done to it?!" I screamed at her. I figured, if I said this, that she would become confused, and assume that she was the one who fucked it over. And it worked.