My dog woofed at me and I said what do you

My dog woofed at me and I said what do you want Peanut Butter. He talked to me and my mother said WTF hahah my dogs such a douche Camel. my mother is also my sister

My mum puts peanut butter in my anus and my Dog licks it like a water bowl

So then Angela walked in and took my favorite mechanical pencil. YOU BITCH! I yelled as she ran down the hall with it.

Angela turned around and gave a look that scared the beejeezus out of me. Then w/o a moments hesitation, she took my favorite mechanical pencil & stabbed her Mead spiral notebook

e one that burned down the school library! That was you! Where am I going to loan my Harry Potter books from?" she screamed at me, holding the pencil close to my neck, snarling.

Secretly, I loved when she got aggressive like this. I feigned terror & pretended to struggle in her arms. "Sorry about burning down the library. Please don't stab me!" I grinned.

Then I pushed my hips against her when we hugged. I could smell the mothballs on her sweater. Real wool. I was going to crack the binding on this librarian right here.

Unbeknownst to me and my obscure sexual reference, the librarian was holding a priceless book from the 1200's, which I actually cracked the binding on. "Dude, my fucking book! What

the fuck have you done to it?!" I screamed at her. I figured, if I said this, that she would become confused, and assume that she was the one who fucked it over. And it worked.