"It's him -- Petrus Aurelius, the first Antichrist

"It's him -- Petrus Aurelius, the first Antichrist attempt. The carbon-14 readings were ambiguous, but the carbon-13 was off the scale." The group withdrew from the blackened bones

in awe. The amateur archaeocculist Henrick Jensen had amassed an impressive collection of artifacts. All were awed that is except Dr.Suess, Off the scale? C13 is a stable isotope.

Suess than shouted out: "It's a fake!" Archeologist Henrick Jensen immediatly retaliated, claiming all his aritfacts were authentic. "Those are about as real as my stories!" Suess

shouted. But the the Archeologist opened the passenger side door on his Dalorian. Out stepped the actual Cat in the Hat. The Archeologist said, "I guess your stories are true

," and took a lore axe to Dr. Seuss's books. The (Evil, Apparently) Archaeologist was on a quest to destroy truth. The Cat in the Hat faded into oblivion. Seuss wrote faster, but

the quality of his work suffered as a result. "Would you could you in a car?" "Yeah, whatever." He just wasn't the same after the Great Loraxsassination of 1978. Dejected and

illiterate, he ambled over to the cactus and sat on it, waiting for the next bus to Kingdom Come, the wonderland all Jehovah's Witnesses visited with their kids. Maybe they'd hire

him as a publicist. Anyhoo, 3 years later in dormant fold time, the bus to Kingdom Come finally arrived and wasn't what he expected. It was short bus and he was the only passenger

the humidifier started belching out the worst vapors ever. The hipster kids' afros and mohawks began to deflate, the preppies' dos curled and frizzed, and everyone looked alike.