Jeremy calculated that every possible person

Jeremy calculated that every possible person worth dating on the internet for a given individual lived precisely (2*age)/ (inverse square of mass - 100 kg) miles away, making the

odds of him meeting the perfect woman almost nil. You know what they say about necessity being the Mother of Invention? Yeah, well, Jeremy being pretty clever with knitting needles

set up a quickie abortion shop on a boat off the coast of Ireland. The pregnant Irish catholic women would row out to sea and wave a green lantern to Jeremy

aka Master Jeremy who's principal job it was to offload the expectant mothers, ply them with rum and then process them with a coathanger and a few verses from the King James bible

Or rather his job was principle of a school for teen mothers. Knowledgeable people had kicked them all in the crotch for stupidity, but Master Jeremy could fleece them for cash by

biting the recess ladies breast. Master Jeremy then went into the class and spoke, today. Now, Napolean was a slave, but he hated Master Jeremy.

What the hell, Master Jeremy, why are you stabbing me in the back? What did I do to you? You were once such a cunning, charming man, but now I see it's an illusion." Admittedly,

Sir Derkinson complained, "Jeremy! Stop this back stabbing at once! My back is already sore from this morning and now it's bleeding. You stupid

peasant!" He reached behind him and slapped Jeremy, making sure to leave a large mark, go home, your mother wants you. This was how Jeremy's adventures ended.