Once upon a time their lived monster who

Once upon a time their lived monster who

was very lonely. He lived in Monster Valley, perhaps the least popular place for visitors; and so he did not get many visitors. Which was unfortunate, as he wanted desperately to

have a pleasant conversation. But owning the only Gas Station in Monster Valley, dialogs were often limited to gutteral grunts and snarls. Then she walked in to order a Slim Jim,

smiling at the hulking, many limbed creature manning the cash register. It did not appear to acknowledge her, merely flicking through a book entitled "Tentacle Rape - For Dummies".

that he was going to explode violently and messily sometime in the next thirty seconds. As usual, we knew better than to take Mr. Gingrich seriously.

Mr Gingrich's stand up routine at the Comedy and Calamity Club had been a huge success. Some nights he would have a total of 8 people come and see his show. The manager

thought he needed to take it one higher, and convinced Newt to appear as Mr. Newton McGrinch for the Xmas show. Comedy & Calamity was preprogrammed when Robin Williams heckled

the producers into letting him produce another one, so popular was it among the hipster demographic. Who knew Newt was such a hoot? The ratings for Comedy and Calamity soared and

then fell like a dying swallow. He jumped the shark too early into a kind of Lynchian-Shyamalan metaphysical retrospective, and the high and mighty critics whined about it.