...You two timing jerk!" My girlfriend pushed
-
...You two timing jerk!" My girlfriend pushed me out of the futon. "wha-?" I groaned. "In my dream, you were smooching Jolie in a pink tutu!" "But It's just a..." "Then explain
2 -
the pink tutu in your closet, huh? HUH! If I just dreamed you were cheating on me with Jolie then why do I have the proof to convict you with?" My girlfriend hovered over me with
3 -
a pair of scissors clenched in her shaking hands. “Admit it," she screamed, "admit you had sex with Jolie or I'll chop off your babymaker!” I couldn't help but laugh. My girlfriend
2 -
was holding my nieces plastic safety scissors for cutting Play-Doh. To make up to her I molded an effigy of my babymaker which I said she could sacrifice. But when it was done
3 -
my niece no longer was interested in my Play-Doh. She had ADHD and she was busy putting hot pockets into the gas tank of my car. I shouted from the window, "Hey! You can't
3 -
put hot pockets in the gas tank without opening the lid." The lid was covered in cheese, fat and pieces of the filling. It seemed to go well with the state of the car though. My
2 -
stomach rumbled. I was starving. I unobtrusively bent down & started to lick the remains of the hot pockets off the gas tank lid. WHAACK!! I'd been smacked squarely in the rear &
3 -
, because this made me bite my tongue against the gas tank lid & it hurt so BAD, I back-kicked whoever it was who smacked me. It was Snoop Dogg. "That was my hot pocket!" he cried.
2 -
"Look, I don't give a flyin' flip whose hot pocket it was," I lisped, blood dribbling down my face. "Look what you done, man! I'm suing!" But Snoop Dogg wasn't going to take it. He
3 -
punched me in the face over and over, stating that I broke the TARDIS. With a jolt, I woke to the sound of my alarm clock and sighed. No more pop rocks and coke before bed! Jeez.
3
- Started
- 2011-12-28 18:21:08
- Finished
- 2013-11-27 06:40:03
8 Comments
Want to leave a comment?
Sign up!
Chaz Nov 27 2013 @ 07:29
So it was a dream within a dream... my mind is blown.
sundancer Nov 27 2013 @ 11:45
Good thing it was all a dream and his babymaker is okay. :-) Very Inception-like.
lucielucie Nov 27 2013 @ 13:50
'To make up to her I molded an effigy of my babymaker which I said she could sacrifice.' lol! - I would have been so proud to have written that myself.
SlimWhitman Nov 27 2013 @ 16:09
Thanks! I was just looking for a way to get the poor guy out of his predicament gracefully and without loss of said babymaker.
lucielucie Dec 05 2013 @ 14:36
I liked this story so much I read it out. I do a pretty uncanny impression of Snoop Dogg, though I say it myself. http://mfi.re/listen/86d4ovek08co31y/Jolie.wav
PurpleProf Dec 06 2013 @ 03:14
Yeah...You sound exactly like Snoop Dogg. You're uber-talented, LucieLucie!
sundancer Dec 06 2013 @ 03:24
Thank you for gracing us with that lovely reading of the foldingstory. It was so pleasurable I listened to it twice. I do enjoy your accent!
lucielucie Dec 07 2013 @ 03:33
Ta PurpleProf & sundancer! If you like this, sundancer, then you'll love these others by other folders... http://foldingstory.com/swjzb/