"I was 25 years old when I died for the first

"I was 25 years old when I died for the first time" - he thought, looking through the glass. "And yet, I remember every detail - as it was yesterday". The red wine really got him

reminiscing about the past. Next time he tried bourbon for a change of pace. It helped him feel tipsy more quickly, but at last he didn't mope as much. A happy drunk, he was.

A dappy hunk, he was. A huppy dap. A paddy hup. He laughed like there was no tomorrow & polished off the bottle of Woodford Reserve. Giggling, he stumbled & fell face-first into

Fionna Aberlasse's ample bossom. "Fynnius Strump, yer' fallin for me too late with too much sap in yer veins too be any good!" She laid him in a barrow by the Inn & Fynn's trouble

some itch was soothed by the rocking barrow as Fionna Aberlasse wheeled him home. "That's the last time, Fynnius Strump," she said, "for I's a-getting wed on the morn. I'm expectin

g twins and I'll be hanged if I ain't gonna be married before they get here." Fionna Aberlasse propped old Fynnius Strump on the headstone, then called the reverend over from the f

our straws to decide who gets to the next fold!" The Rev, Fio, Fyn, Fen & "he" all drew short, so they merged into one engaging character: The Outrageous Rev Timeshare Suckerpissed

burst out of the dressing room and onto the world's biggest stage: FARM AID 2054. "You can call me Rev, or you can call me Fyn," he began. "Or you can call me Suckerpissed," he

said, "But don't call me late for dinner!" Pitchforks were raised. The Wicker Man had his sacrifice.