First, stand with legs wide apart and squat

with your hips, back and forth, really grinding into the burn. I happened to glance in the mirror and noticed that my yoga instructor was essentially dry humping me doggy style.

And panting. Oh what the hell, it's Friday, so I decided to have a little fun with my yoga instructor. "Bow-wow-wow! Yippy yo yippy yay!" I sang, matching his doggie-style thrusts.

45 minutes later, my yoga instructor and I were both tired & sweaty. Great workout. Plus I felt like I did something to support animal rights.

As I entered the changerooms, I noticed something strange. Lying on the ground , unconcious, with a bloody gash on its head was a giant M & M.

I locked the door hastily. As a chocoholic, this was the equivalent of a miner striking a gold vein! I drooled as I bent to lick the bludgeoned, giant M&M -- but he came to just as

my tongue made its way into the large chocolaty cleft left in the gigantic M&M. I was prepared to die to get my chocolate fix, and we both knew it. He shook his head and got u

p, grabbed me by the shoulders and yanked me away from the gargantuan M&M. A heavy chunk of chocolate clung to my tongue. I had to walk around like that for days before it fell off

and slowly began rolling it's way back towards the massive M&M. Turns out the giant edible monstrosity also was alot like evil T1000. Enough was enough I'd decided, so I sneakily

fetched Pa's truck and carted all the giant candy home. Who could refuse a lifetime's supply of chocolaty goodness?! I later came to regret it bitterly, but that's another story...