There was a time when i was so broken hearted

There was a time when i was so broken hearted

that I stalked my ex and left him annonymous messages in different places in his room. He started to freak out that he was going to get killed so I

ran back home, grabbed my nail glue, ran back to his place and while he was sleeping, i glued his eyes shut, so if i WAS to kill him, he wouldnt see me.

My mum puts peanut butter in my anus and my Dog licks it like a water bowl

Some people might say we're an odd family, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Well maybe it would be nice if Father Joe didn't video tape. I get nervous in front of cameras

I always have, I think it started when I was a little kid, in the basement with that lollipop...next think I know Olivia and Elliot are knocking down the door, and I'm in some

I didn't want to reveal the REAL reason for the assless chaps, so when they saw me I just started to shimmy around the room finally striking a pose and yelled, "Chippendales!"

Almost immediately I realized my faux pax.These people were not who I thought them to be.They were...everyone of 'em...proctologists in disguise.They thought my assless chaps were

some medical marvel to gawk at. This is exactly like the keyboardist's convention I modeled gloves for where they asked me about my fingering technique.