Chuck Norris said that someone this year

Chuck Norris said that someone this year would bring about the dark times - 100 years of pain. He knew Chuck was talking about him. "I, Jimmy the Fuligo Septica, will bring

disco music back to popularity, and by law, no other music will be allowed to be played. Yes, it will be dark times, but the disco globes will give off fun dancing light. And

who doesn't love a good 70s soundtrack? The glitter fell from the ceiling, the place was packed, and it smelled like stale donuts. My combat boots started to stick to the floor wh

en I heard the opening measures of Stayin' Alive & well, I just couldn't hold back.The dance floor cleared as I, in my tight white polyester pants & combat boots & holding a donut

covered jacket I wasn't prepared to let go of, let myself loose. A jigging and a jiving, swinging my jacket in circles, looking like the queen on steroids. Suddenly the donuts sta

-rted to disappear from my hands. "Why would the donuts disappear?!" I thought to myself. I look up and around the room, wondering to myself. "Am I the fridge or is it hooked up?"

I wonder to myself a lot, mainly because I have no friends. Alone. A Vagabond. A Loser. I wander and wonder like an empty Wal-Mart sack blowing in the wind, meaningless and

baggy. I wandered lonely as a bag that drifts along the street of life when all at once I saw a crowd, a host of other bags. Maybe these bags would be my friends. They were flutter

ing in mesmerizing infinity loops around a dumpster. As I stood transfixed, a dumpster diver emerged from the mass of swishing, pirouetting plastic bags