As I wandered through Azhuribad, a small

As I wandered through Azhuribad, a small woman with a wrinkled face and bright silver eyes ran after me with a bundle in a red scarf , brushing aside the young beggars. "Na!" she s

miled through her crooked teeth as she handed me the bundle. The Indian streets deserted as I unwrapped the red scarf. Inside, a small figurine of Sonny Bono. I took out my Cher.

And I did something the real life Cher and Sonny Bono could never do. I placed my figurine Sonny Bono on top of figurine Cher.

I mimicked kissing noises for my Bono and Cher action figures. Funnily enough, even with just smooth plastic pants they remained anatomically correct. I rubbed the figures together

and of course a fire started. Two sticks could never replicate plastic celebrities in fire starting. As if she had been made to "scale", Cher's hair lit up and the fire quickly

spread to neighboring houses, then entire city blocks. Holy Smokes! Detective Manatee was the first on the scene and the first to realize that it'd been Cher who started the fire

until a giant disco clown suddenly blocked his path. "Would you like to take a survey?" asked the clown. Detective Manatee

broke down in tears at the sight of the clown, his long-standing fear of them rendering him unable to do anything other than scream and flail his manatee limbs. The clown looked

rejected, where was his life headed, he asked to himself, if even sea cows couldnt stand the sight of him? I haven't heard from him since, but I'm sure he's happy now.