Finished Folds (2441—2460)
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4mouth driven by a dung-filled brain that would say something so stupid. The village engineer said even the village idiot knows if you're going to build a mechanical dragon,
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2"Bread pudding is exactly how I got in such amazing shape!" Arnold Schwarzenegger definitely never said.
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12Istanbul Night 2: A wicked flea infestation exploded in my beard. Still no luck unloading the rest of these discount electric blankets. I think I'm cursed. Will Night 3 be better?
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3'Twas the night before Christmas, some say 'Christmas Eve'. I sat on the couch with my fat uncle Steve. Many a laugh and many a beer crossed past our lips as we watched the TV.
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4was having doubts about his readiness as a father. She seemed to see straight into his fears of inadequacy and almost relish it. It was 3am. His six month old daughter was
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2there was the sound of two yak rutting in the distance. I gazed upon Molasar and Rasolam with confident scorn and considered how to dispatch them. Perhaps a warning blast from my
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5like fruit compote into an empty pie crust. The Sentinel related to the prisoner for he too had once been imprisoned. It had been a period of reflective growth for the Sentinel but
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5A Frenchman, a Mexican, and an African-Canadian walk into a bar in southeastern Kentucky. The music stops. Reg
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2my new friends? So what if my face was plastered on the back of 10,000 milk cartons and I hadn't seen my biological family in years. THE FAMILY was now in charge. All I had to do
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1stored in large garbage sacks in my locker at school. There were reasonable, sane explanations for all these things. If I could just plead my case to a jury of my peers they'd have
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6the whole 12er of Bud even though I knew it was my roommate's. I looked arond the courtroom and sensed the sentiment was not in my favor. Sitting in the jury box was
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2I was seeing deeper and simultaneously more broadly than ever before. I saw people's true nature instantly. I saw rainbows and sun dogs at night. The glare from the
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4Hey, I've got an idea: why don't we sharpen a piece or two of metal until it's extraordinarily dangerous and then slowly drag it across our bodies to temporarily remove
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7Here's the thing, it's not you. It's me. We both know we've been growing apart for a while now. I think maybe we're just better when we're apart. Oh, the money
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3What if your entire life's actions were recorded as if on video and were available in entirety to everyone who has ever lived upon entry into the afterlife?
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4part of the code necessary for intergalactic travel would just appear in my brain. I was possessed by an unrepressable urge to get the data out of my mind, hence my den was filled
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3deep but unstable. Buzz was 3 years sober but Lightning's recurring binges were taking a toll on his resolve. One afternoon when Buzz came home from work Lightning was already
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6Martha Mae, who was watching through binoculars from her yarn shop across the street, felt sure that he must've sold his soul to the devil. She picked up the phone and
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9inside his track suit as his feeble male mind raced through the options, none of which seemed passable. Then his girlfriend hit him with "Hey, do these jeans make my butt look big?
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4we were forced to book him at the Annual Religious Restrictions on the Consumption of Pork Seminar in Poughkeepsie, NY. We were backstage getting ready and I noticed a curly tail