Finished Folds (2441—2460)
-
6stuffed in an entire duck-billed playtypus, never breaking eye contact with the ketchup offerer. I was impressed and whipped out my camera phone. Just as I hit 'record'
-
7e peephole and I could see someone sitting at a computer. Then it hit me. Someone was photoshopping a picture I was in! I felt a terrible burning in my retina. My eyes! I had pink
-
7end poorly. He took a chew. Then a step. Another chew of gum. Another step. "It's working!" he thought. He chewed and took a step. The bus driver never even saw poor Ron. R.I.P.
-
4outbreak of food poisoning but the shipment of sausage had to go out by midnight, fully cooked or not. He turned the oven up to 450 and said "дерьмо"! 20 minutes later the shipment
-
6was rambunctious to say the least. I'd had enough. Enough of the ceiling chunks in my coffee. Enough of the wailing interrupting my slumber. Ethyl was about to find out what happen
-
6and sprayed hot lead all up in that mutha just a-blastin and a-bustin every last living thing into oblivion. She didn't stop until the clip was clear. Mrs. Scarlet and Mr.Green
-
4I was re-examining my RB situation (again) for the fantasy football playoffs just as the boss walked in. I Ctrl-Tab'ed to an accounting spreadsheet but he said "Hey Bob, you workin
-
4I made the dummy do a bow and Madison Square Garden exploded with laughter and applause. Chalk up another 5 star performance for Vincent, the venerable ventriloquist!
-
4mouth driven by a dung-filled brain that would say something so stupid. The village engineer said even the village idiot knows if you're going to build a mechanical dragon,
-
2"Bread pudding is exactly how I got in such amazing shape!" Arnold Schwarzenegger definitely never said.
-
12Istanbul Night 2: A wicked flea infestation exploded in my beard. Still no luck unloading the rest of these discount electric blankets. I think I'm cursed. Will Night 3 be better?
-
3'Twas the night before Christmas, some say 'Christmas Eve'. I sat on the couch with my fat uncle Steve. Many a laugh and many a beer crossed past our lips as we watched the TV.
-
4was having doubts about his readiness as a father. She seemed to see straight into his fears of inadequacy and almost relish it. It was 3am. His six month old daughter was
-
2there was the sound of two yak rutting in the distance. I gazed upon Molasar and Rasolam with confident scorn and considered how to dispatch them. Perhaps a warning blast from my
-
5like fruit compote into an empty pie crust. The Sentinel related to the prisoner for he too had once been imprisoned. It had been a period of reflective growth for the Sentinel but
-
5A Frenchman, a Mexican, and an African-Canadian walk into a bar in southeastern Kentucky. The music stops. Reg
-
2my new friends? So what if my face was plastered on the back of 10,000 milk cartons and I hadn't seen my biological family in years. THE FAMILY was now in charge. All I had to do
-
1stored in large garbage sacks in my locker at school. There were reasonable, sane explanations for all these things. If I could just plead my case to a jury of my peers they'd have
-
6the whole 12er of Bud even though I knew it was my roommate's. I looked arond the courtroom and sensed the sentiment was not in my favor. Sitting in the jury box was
-
2I was seeing deeper and simultaneously more broadly than ever before. I saw people's true nature instantly. I saw rainbows and sun dogs at night. The glare from the