Finished Folds (241—260)
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3. She'd bought him at auction and over the years my uncle won her over. They'd had eight children together. These revelations carried on while we moved from crumpets to whiskey. Pr
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6Not only that, but he'd worked up a sweaty lather up on top of the flagpole & his panties were now not only in a knot, but they were soaking wet as well. This created a conundrum
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6paid for his first beamer, and created the occasion when he met his wife. "Why me!" he wailed. "What is this absurd circus!" "What is ..." and she walked up and gave him a brumskie
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9it's the rat fight of the century! It's Rattus 'The Rattlesnake' Rattus versus Rattus 'Norwegian Chainsaw' Norvegicus!!! You buy the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge!"
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1dropped out and became those guys that test out helmets to see how well they work. We could start our own helmet- testing business and make a mint! Here, take this one and
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3was adamant: he would give nothing. 0.1% effort was too much to ask. Joe was determined this time. Coma, or bust. Joe's brother was Tony Robbins and all of the passion for life had
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2why don't we help each other out? I'll flagellate my axial filament. Joe Sperm, you forge ahead and relay any signs of danger. Bob Sperm and Ed Sperm, you guys are my flankers. If
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1which was his natural condition after the unfortunate incident with the Tijuana mule. I slapped him upside the head to indicate a refill was needed. But the Momdad saw this and did
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4while Shwarma, Tigma, Anglot and Fugg squatted. The drought continued. Urhuum opened her eyes to observe the sign she'd blindly scratched into the hard clay. It looked like
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5one of those surprise burps that gurgles up through your nose and tingles, hurts a little. I grimaced and hurled onto the lid of my boss's closed trash can. She rubbed my back and
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2than syrup. Banjo Jo knew if he let Candy do her thing, he'd take home the recording contract he needed to save his father's business from bankruptcy. He stroked Candy's strings
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3I want to take a moment to reverse-thank the weight lifting wife thanking rocket scientist fire fighter on social media. It's a two way double edged sword here.
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4magical mystery tour. Walt had figured ages ago that the most assured way to keep an audience riveted was long lines. Incredible, soul-crushing lines. By the end of the line, you
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8opened the door to The Oracle's chambers. A fortune cookie sat on her pillow. The Oracle opened it. It read: ***Is it God or The Devil who will give you everything you want?***
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6and cried "On Chaz, on greenbanana, on m80 and PurpleProf! On SlimWhitman, on BlastedHeath, on Noah, and Nixonblack!" Then she whipped MoralEnd on the rump and fired up
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5After following the recipe precisely, I served the following word dish to my in-laws: Dear <nouns>, it is with <adjective> <verb> that I announce <pronoun> and I are <verb>! Please
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3a get free from my reinforced pants monkey harness. Not this time." Smuggler #2 gave smuggler #1 a cheers. Then smuggler #2's grin dried up. "Oh snap! Here comes Santa Claus!"
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4, just look at these swollen udders." The director looked nervous but said "OK, everyone, take five! Buttercup, head to my trailer. I'm going to need some tissues and Chapstick."
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6dig a little deeper to unearth the source of the sound of this silence. I took a sip of my Zombie cocktail. Another epiphany! If someone gave me a hand we could put our brains toge
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5unts, it's the amount that counts. Think quantity, not quality. I want to get blitzed on Blatz. Shnockered on Shlitz. Buzzed on Bud. C'mon fat man, beer me!