Finished Folds (2641—2660)
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5eat FRENCH fries you communist sympathizing bastard! O'Reilly flagellated himself brutally with a cat-o-nine-tails and then admired his own handiwork in the mirror. He noticed
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7nothing compared to the horrors and atrocities committed during the Cottontail Genocide in eastern Arkansas, circa 1984. I write about it now because
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8a woman with the tail of a fish." Regardless, I wanted to make sweet love to it. But I also wanted to finish the back nine and have a couple cold ones with the boys. Logically, I
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5down on him like the unforgiving waves on the beach of Christmas Island so many years ago. The cameraman stopped laughing when the host began to foam at the mouth. Someone screamed
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4I shook out a Marlboro Red, zippo'd it to life and sneered at them. "Off, 4, and yeah, I know Atom; he's on the up-and-up." They looked at each other, clearly nonplussed. An alarm
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5tips & tricks on sporadic improv in the Greater Twin Cities Area, MN. It was a family-friendly family-run operation, so when a seedy adult bookstore opened next to the Jolly Chazer
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3I allllways had to come before E, except after Momma C. Momma C and her extra special K had a problem with E. It all started at a LA rave where three OGs gave Momma C a free hit
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5was right there, literally couldn't be closer to my face if it wasn't my nose, and still I couldn't - wouldn't - see it. I tried to shake it off, but no, there it was. A
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5a cantaloupe with a hole in it. All in all, not a bad evening. However, the next morning Joe was left with a dazzlingly gritty hangover and still hadn't exorcised his devil. Rabbi
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5Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a pretty regular guy I suppose. I mean, I was the Ratgod there for a while and my imaginary friend Jack and I did kill Kennedy. But I had to give up being Ratgod
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5and the Ratgod was I. I demanded an appropriate sacrifice on first Fridays lest I release a plague of fleas upon my subjects. I was a vengeful Ratgod. Was. Now I'm just Bill again.
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2a half bottle of rum, some bananas, and a bag of sugar. We whipped up some killer banana daiquiris which is exactly why I have such a pounding headache today. Pass the Advil, stat.
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6I know what you're thinking. You're thinking 'Nope, he doesn't know what I'm thinking. How could he?' But I knew that. I knew you were thinking that I didn't know what you were thi
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6A giggle turned into a chuckle that begat a short burst of laughter out loud. A hearty guffaw then rounded steadily into the dreaded silent laugh where my stomach began to ache and
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3producers and cameramen high-fived each other with dollar signs in their eyes. Kim K jumped out of nowhere onto Snookie's back but couldn't get her to release Mary-Kate from the ch
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2a glass bottle and threw it in the ocean. In retrospect, my plan was fatally flawed but it seemed like a good idea at the time. When I heard the lyrics I stole fair & square on the
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3"What if it freezes up? How do you charge it?" And on and on and on. I said "Look you knuckleheaded dimwits, it's a book. You open it up and read the words on the pages."
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1reeked of the patchouli oil I used to cover up the rancid B O. There was a small but loyal contingent of sensory-challenged shoppers who faithfully purchased the crops at a farmers
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3The vegans were restless because their 50 gallon drum of wheatgrass juice was nearly tapped out. He concocted a scheme to pillage a local Whole Foods and made a daring escape
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2not a hot one. However, Grimelda did have an untapped talent: sampling and remixing old 80s rap hits. When she mixed the ice cream ballad with a little Run DMC and Public Enemy