Finished Folds (2721—2740)
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6Question: Do the perpetrators of the Gurtvin Invasion hail from Gurt, Gurtv, Gurtvin, or some other assemblage of vowels and consonants? The answer
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3With my mind's eye focused on the idea that an infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters will eventually create a work of Shakespeare I set about assembling
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4And don't answer with anything snarky like those halfwits on FS.com. "Probably because you're on the border of Gurt." Or "Maybe if your watchtower was higher than a midget's
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5Dude Chills on a Beanbag and featured a whole lotta nothing. Thanks to one key rave review in the inaugural beanbaggery expose, the show was a hipster hit and everyone tried to exp
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3Here's the thing: I'm only human. On top of that I'm a dude, so I'm only a MALE human. You people have got to lower your expectations a few notches. I mean, if you're going to
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4I replied "The brighter the candle lit, the darker the shadow cast." Just then we entered the tunnel. The click clack of the rails grew louder and I closed my eyes, relishing every
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2which is why is quit my 9-to-5er, which had been steadily degenerating into more of an 8-to-6/6:30er and sold myself into slavery. The chains did chafe a little but we got all the
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4Luckie found himself at the Unicorn races again, with his last eight gold pieces clinking together in his pocket. He was faced with the sad decision of whether to
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3had no idea how right she was. After a few seconds of discomfort she was out cold and on her way to the River City processing plant for, well, processing. The only plan the mayor
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6proceeded to form an all-male wiccan with my friends Clive Bixby, Cosmo Kramer, and them Duke boys. It was the awesomest club since that Mickey Mouse operation fizzled out. Most of
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3mind and the understated good looks. Still, I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of attention garnered when wheeling myself into local eateries or just toodling around the mall
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2a really nice pastrami on rye with dijon and a side of slaw all over the inhabitants of the deep end of the pool. The unfortunate regurgitation proceeded to cause
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4My ass is covered in saddle sores from wild goat riding, my hair is infested with chiggers, and I haven't had a coffee in 13 days. Meanwhile, these supposedly untouched tribes are
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4"So, that's pretty much it officer. The duck drowned herself." "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" "And why is your body so, so plump, so seal-like?" "I want a lawyer."
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8showed him a photo of his wife fornicating with a drunk haberdasher in the back of a tuna delivery van. I took no pleasure in it for it clearly broke him. It was a hard
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3"That depends" he answered. "Does 'balls' mean balls?" After two and three-quarters King Cobra 40s and a quick power nap they
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4Let me tell you, I took one look at that situation and got the hell out of dodge. These eyes have seen one too many power tripping talking bulls to want try my hand at resistance.
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10your naming address, social securities number, and just forty American dollars and we will assuredly award you your seventy million dollars prize with large quickness. I await your
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2so futily and yet so beautifully as I felt her ease down my pharynx. Most of the radioactive queen ant continued down into my stomach but a small bit found it's way into my trachea
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4I sighed. Okay, Johnny, I'll tell you one more story before you go to sleep to be sure that you don't have any more nightmares. Here goes. "Once upon a time there was a young boy