Finished Folds (2921—2940)
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13The Homeless Officer produced a king sized down pillow with 300 thread count Egyptian cotton quilted pillowcase and laid it down. Ever since the Homeless Comfort Reform law of 2012
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6Malt and Barley were just coolin in the corner when Hops launched an all-out nuclear assault of intra-keg yeast-infused missiles that caused the Beerniverse to froth violently.
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6the entire pet shop knew Timmy would sing like a canary if the owner Bob put the screws to him. Mr. Bunsy would have to enjoy his secret escape tunnel all by himself. One night as
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4"Hmm" she said. "Something like: If I travel deep into the center of Uranus, would I find any live animals trapped there?" "Yeah that's it!" I said. "Or how about
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7even though he couldn't do the splits, hit with any power, or make panties drop with a smirk, he more than made up for that with reckless enthusiasm. Dmitri walked right into the
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3cook. Last night they made this homemade pu pu platter with deep fried crappie and creamy shiitake sandwiches. The shitz tzu even got to have some. The flavor
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3rain began to fall throughout the aircraft. A river of fire came gushing down the center aisle as I struggled with the buckle. "GOD DAMN IT" I yelled. A dam instantly appeared
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1hairier in certain areas. After I'd consumed most of the torso section I crinkled the rest into a small garbage bag. Some of the larger pieces had to be broken up and when I looked
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7new 'Vette's leather interior after he projectile vomited all over the seats. Bob immediately flipped a bitch and headed back to the dealership. He'd be damned if he was going to
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1immediately began killing and eating each other in a startlingly vicious scene that played itself out in front of Mrs. Knudsen's 3rd grade class. The zoo keeper knew he'd be fired
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9taking the first born male pelican from each nest and sacrificing it in the name of scientific research. I'd murdered upwards of 100,000 pelicans under a sizable grant from NSF
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5promptly hauled ass to Vegas. Chances are Spot had a pretty fantastic time but we'll never know because what happens in Vegas...
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3Sheila took off her top, undid her bra and threw it up on stage with a loud WooooooHoo!! Three Hells Angels immediately
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1a broomstick. There was an MTV exec in the crowd when he did his now infamous fake penis skit and that's the true story of how Cristo was discovered. True genius will always shine.
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6the only rational decision was to sell all my belongings, fill a used school bus with bottled water and heavy artillery ammo, and make my way to Utah. I'd find some guy
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4I unlocked the deadbolt and peered out into the blackness past the screen door. Something had made that noise. It was cold and I was trying to talk myself out of investigating but
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4I exhaled slowly, exhausted. "For the last time, I told you, I'd never seen her face before last night." These cops were incompetent chumps. What they didn't know was
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3exciting with mom. She just had us throw flat round stones in the water. On weekends with dad, we'd get tanked up on Budweiser, strip down to our skivvies and end up with a
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4both sides, deep into his body and onto his soul. Poor Joey'd never heard that cleanliness is next to Godliness and his foul wardrobe had tainted his very essence. When he saw that
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1I unknowingly fertilized the great prehistoric egg practicing the withdrawal (pull out) method of birth control. An utterly enormous reptilian version of my infant self emerged