Finished Folds (2981—3000)
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7Most guys weren't like him. For example, he put his pants on both legs at a time. I tried that once and got a bloody nose for it. He'd walk
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3of the bottle. His genius plan was to gather enough child gold from Goldshlagger consumption to trade for a live child on Craigslist. He'd harvested over 13.5 oz from 114 bottles
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5the sub's industrial strength prop ejected 90% of the pool's water onto his dad's new convertible Jag. Tommy yelled expletives and such but none of his friends could hear him from
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6me by the balls. I'd known about it for sme time of course, but now that my editor was calling on the regular I couldn't type a damn page. I stood up
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5So did the 15 egg and 12 cheese omelets. I'd been staring at the egg pyramid for over an hour waiting for a table at this joint and had eaten the entire bowl of toothpicks. They
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6and just get sloppy again. JC ambled over to Mary and
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4Sometimes the worms 'do the worm'. Dennis Rodman
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5bucket of paint, boy!" I brought it to him unaware that he was going to slosh it all over the monitor in a misguided attempt to create a fresh digital canvas. "Uh, I don't think
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3Angel's Landing in Zion Nat'l Park. The line for the 2nd mothership extended from Utah into Arizona and down into Mexico. There was almost an international incident when
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6see if he could do a loop-de-loop over the Grand Canyon with one hand tied behind his back and a good beer buzz. So he flipped off his Chief of Security, climbed into the JetCopter
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2palace of the fifth Aztec emperor, Montezuma. They sought his revenge for excessive gluttony during taco night. They found it the next morning and most of the afternoon as well...
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3were quickly gathered by the tin man. The lion sat sobbing in a blubbery mass in the corner. Toto barked at the crow over Harry's head but Dorothy
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1ever she wanted and I always looked on with envy. She'd just start going to town on herself in the middle of book club, sleadily licking her special doggie parts and then
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1were groaning and wallowing in a vat of lard while JeanPaul and Chelsea slowly rubbed marinade into each other's
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4Helga's husband John in tattered filthy overalls, holding a sawed off pitchfork. His murderous scowl was the final thing they saw after horning in on poker night for the last time.
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1(well, mostly high - mighty, not so much) and spouts out of his pie hole about
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3Pssst, hey. Yeah. Yeah, you. You wanna get loco? Try this: shave the inside of 2 bananas and dry it for 3 days. Then get some bufotoxin from a psychoactive toad's back warts and
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4looked like, some kind of idiot? Like I'm supposed to believe Oprah personally approved this Chinese hot pocket. The friggin nerve of this dame! So I took the hot pocket and I
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2poured it down the large coin slot that appeared as she bent over to
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4fuckin corndog would be great at a ballgame but I want something really unusual. Surprise me. So the server went back to the kitchen and told the chef to