Finished Folds (3001—3020)
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1ever she wanted and I always looked on with envy. She'd just start going to town on herself in the middle of book club, sleadily licking her special doggie parts and then
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1were groaning and wallowing in a vat of lard while JeanPaul and Chelsea slowly rubbed marinade into each other's
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4Helga's husband John in tattered filthy overalls, holding a sawed off pitchfork. His murderous scowl was the final thing they saw after horning in on poker night for the last time.
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1(well, mostly high - mighty, not so much) and spouts out of his pie hole about
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3Pssst, hey. Yeah. Yeah, you. You wanna get loco? Try this: shave the inside of 2 bananas and dry it for 3 days. Then get some bufotoxin from a psychoactive toad's back warts and
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4looked like, some kind of idiot? Like I'm supposed to believe Oprah personally approved this Chinese hot pocket. The friggin nerve of this dame! So I took the hot pocket and I
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2poured it down the large coin slot that appeared as she bent over to
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4fuckin corndog would be great at a ballgame but I want something really unusual. Surprise me. So the server went back to the kitchen and told the chef to
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2micturated freely into the waiting mouth of the bowl. Wow, did that feel good. I closed my eyes and I swear I saw God in all his glory. It was almost worth it in the end. But when
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4that wasn't the saltiest residue there. I'd had to perform some pretty unsavory tasks in order to land the cherry position of WalMart greeter and I could feel the cold stares of my
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5had jumbo-sized boxes of jerky, 6-hour energy (what?, you haven't heard of it yet?) and more diapers than an reasonably continent adult should ever have on hand. The rig's payload
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4Perseus felt today was a great day to make some bad decisions. Sick of his Dad's nagging, he dialed up Zeus and told him "If I wanted any lip from you I'd pull down your pants." He
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4the necessary knots for a proper waterboarding session so he was 'let go'. Babe was crushed but he wasn't going to let a little red tape stand in his way of a pig's big adventure.
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4back to me more clearly, but what I think I wanted touch on was the, um, relationship, sort or, between like one of those things that has the big handle but that when you grab the
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2"I dare you to dare me to take a shower with Tommy" looking up with a shy expectance into the coach's menacing brow. Ralph knew Tommy
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3This gadfly has gargantuan gonads!" Dad would cry from the shop. Or sometimes "Gadzooks! Gadhafi's enrolled in Gadsden state community college!" Dad had a unsettling case of
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1small children is a favorite passtime after I get hopped up on pretzel knots and YooHoo chocolate flavored oil. I love to open a can and just
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6ex-wife out the window. I laid the DS gently on the table and went outside to greet her with a confidence I'd never felt before. I walked right up to her and said
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4There was uncle Lester, Nana, and hey! - Bobby Shitzen my best friend from 3rd grade. Now that we were all ghosts being held against our will, there was a common bond and hatred
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7was bald, 50 pounds overweight, and looked like he had Jimi Hendrix's afro exploding from his crotchless superhero outfit. Still, Kevin