Finished Folds (3081—3100)
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7That hesitation ultimately cost him his life. Samantha Patricia Simone, expert pickpocket, wanted murderer, and long-time lover of James Dallas Egbert III shot our hero in the
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5Fred, who worked two cubicles over. He waited until Fred took his usual 2:30-3:30 nap and crept up from the back of his rolling chair. Barely able to hold back the giggles, he
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3I awoke to find the Green Goblin staring at me lustily. I'd seen this look before. I said "whoa whoa whoa, pump the brakes and slow your roll mother trucker". The last thing I need
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5the pythons today? I shed my bomber jacket and tossed it next to the heavy bag with an extra loud grunt. I could tell the other gym rats all thought I was the bomb because they
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1I swung the fork hard at her face but missed and she busted my cheek open with a roundhouse jujitsu chop. I staggered backward, all the more enraged. I still held the fork
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3apprentice taxidermist, chuckling under his breath. He'd stuffed more beavers than Ron Jeremy and had heard all the accompanying jokes. The owner of Beavers R Us wasn't so easily
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3It was the simplest of physics: an object in motion tends to stay in motion, and Brenda was definitely in motion. She'd
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2imported guava extract that had been tainted during shipment. Sheckly was normally a little zany but today he inexplicably teamed up with Grossman after we had specifically agreed
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2chicken and sliced plantains inside my Kingston bungalow. I had just iced down my balls from the latest lava-bagging. Things were really
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3had a cat named seven and canary named nine." She uncrossed and recrossed her lengthy stems in the backroom of my P.I. office. She said "I knew it was tempting fate but when
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1all the neighborhood felines knew Nick was worthless as tits on a boar hog when it came to
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4tasty waves as the first set rolled into the north shore. His cutbacks were so tight it was like he was surfing on an Exacto knife. Vernon's nickname was The Chandelier because
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2grab her Kenny Chesney CD and a couple High Life tall boys. She was in such a rush she forgot the homemade deer jerky she said she'd bring to the hootenanny. Dag! Halfway there
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3cleaned fecal matter and other unfortunate human wastes up off the floor and bathroom surfaces at least once a day so I figured he'd be up for it. Larry touched my
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350% of polled males favored Sunday orgies in the park, while the other 50% suffered from erectile malfunction and therefore remained un-poled. It was a puzzling polling paradox.
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5seized the FoldingStory domain and were cracking down on irreverence of all forms. This military state gave rise to the Sultan of Snark and the WordMonger, who took great pride in
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1and enlarged wedding tackle were actually quite a hit when I moved to Tahiti. So, I just went with it. Life's too short to sweat the small stuff they say, and it's all small stuff.
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2a gaggle of pygmy velociraptors took him down and began to eat him alive. Charles' screams alerted the zoo gestapo but it was past feeding time for the little guys so they let them
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1john. Hopefully this would be the end of those tacos once and for all but we'd said that the last time too...
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2In this episode, a renegade squad of Cinnibears was murdering and enslaving entire villages of Sour Patch Kids. Haribo was a vengeful God and the elder gummis had angered him by