Finished Folds (3081—3100)
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2Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking crack. I mean, how often do you get to hotbox LL Cool J's El Camino? I remember going into the car, and I remember
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5From his spirit, I made a dragon kite with large eyes and a very long tail. I used to fly it down at Playa del Batguano until one day the string snapped and
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2gave the Prime Minister a confident wink. "Now let me tell you something, you delusional prick." said Mitchell. "I..." but Mitchell was cut off by two Peace Project Gestapo who
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3ripe to seize the moment. I wasn't sure if she meant a fair exchange of tradeable commodities or a lustful interlude. In true *Carpe Diem* fashion I
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2Scarn gathered up Clive Bixby's unconscious form and stopped only to admire his
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6why The Rock called it "The People's Elbow" when it was obviously The Rock's elbow. Even metaphors and subtleties of Pro Wrestling were lost on this 43 yr old momma's boy. Dwayne
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8Train A leaves the station at 4PM. At the other end of a 300 mile track, Train B leaves at 6PM. If Train A travels 45mph and Train B travels 60mph, when will they meet?" St. Peter
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1I grab you and I squeeze you and I squeeze you and I grab you with a squeezy squeezy squeezy and a grab grab grab". His assailant was unimpressed with the nonsensical baby talk so
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7That hesitation ultimately cost him his life. Samantha Patricia Simone, expert pickpocket, wanted murderer, and long-time lover of James Dallas Egbert III shot our hero in the
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5Fred, who worked two cubicles over. He waited until Fred took his usual 2:30-3:30 nap and crept up from the back of his rolling chair. Barely able to hold back the giggles, he
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3I awoke to find the Green Goblin staring at me lustily. I'd seen this look before. I said "whoa whoa whoa, pump the brakes and slow your roll mother trucker". The last thing I need
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5the pythons today? I shed my bomber jacket and tossed it next to the heavy bag with an extra loud grunt. I could tell the other gym rats all thought I was the bomb because they
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1I swung the fork hard at her face but missed and she busted my cheek open with a roundhouse jujitsu chop. I staggered backward, all the more enraged. I still held the fork
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3apprentice taxidermist, chuckling under his breath. He'd stuffed more beavers than Ron Jeremy and had heard all the accompanying jokes. The owner of Beavers R Us wasn't so easily
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3It was the simplest of physics: an object in motion tends to stay in motion, and Brenda was definitely in motion. She'd
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2imported guava extract that had been tainted during shipment. Sheckly was normally a little zany but today he inexplicably teamed up with Grossman after we had specifically agreed
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2chicken and sliced plantains inside my Kingston bungalow. I had just iced down my balls from the latest lava-bagging. Things were really
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3had a cat named seven and canary named nine." She uncrossed and recrossed her lengthy stems in the backroom of my P.I. office. She said "I knew it was tempting fate but when
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1all the neighborhood felines knew Nick was worthless as tits on a boar hog when it came to
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4tasty waves as the first set rolled into the north shore. His cutbacks were so tight it was like he was surfing on an Exacto knife. Vernon's nickname was The Chandelier because