Finished Folds (3141—3160)
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3He was a 6' 4" 250 lb albino with pigtails. He usually sported snazzy Tshirts with punch lines like 'Keep staring, I might do a trick' and a nice Irish kilt. I met him for drinks
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2I fondly remember when my nap buddy showed me how to make a shit sandwich with no bread. First you
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4which is the primary point of our lecture today. Remain erect and intensely alert at all times. Keep constant head motion. Keep your tail fluffy and above all, protect your nuts.
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1I really shouldn't have been looking. But their blinds were open and I couldn't help myself. They were
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0Really should have gone with the roses in retrospect. Maybe it was the fact that my whole body reeked of sphincter that turned her off. Or maybe it was the headlock and noogie that
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2a Play-Doh type material. This matter is then fed to the factory rodents who digest and subsequently excrete pellets that are processed with artificial dyes. Presto! You've got
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3Alan was on a nervous high before his first (blind) date since the divorce. But the person looking expectantly his way appeared to be wearing a pair of crotchless tights as a shirt
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3When he said on their first date that he'd possess her heart she thought it was kinda cute in an overconfident kind of way. Now that he was standing over her with a meat cleaver
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2unthinkable, or at least undesirable. Such as: </proc:></drop dead>, or </proc:></get me a beer>. I'd been working on that last bit of code for over an hour and was damn thirsty. 4
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7global thermonuclear warfare. He'd declared open season on Cadbury mini-eggs and was making some serious headway on his plans for chocolate bunny genocide. His apartment
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3turned literal after we realized that someone must have replaced our Anusol with Krazy glue. Our thighs were sealed together krazy strong, krazy fast. I was rethinking the wisdom
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3. I flipped my 1st victim over the Bay Bridge with ease. I spread a thin layer of Nutella over my 2nd kill and staked him to a fire ant hill. I gagged #3 with the spatula handle
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4goal of opening my own men's intimate apparel shop called Victor's Secret. I already had 8 members receiving my biweekly catalog and production was ramping up fast. Just yesterday
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5so I painstakingly shaped the recently deceased corpse into an exact replica of the soldiers raising the flag on Iwo Jima, flag included. You might think it impossible but with
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6I pressed Fn and held down that weird button with the squiggly lines and my garage door opened. I pressed Fn - reverse squiggly button and my oven self-cleaned. Next, I tried Fn
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5was younger, anyway. I mean, I wouldn't kick her out of bed or anything but the bloom's a little off the rose. I pull down 5 figures a year and can do between 5 and 10 pushups so I
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3NewWorldOrder.com "Lovers". It took 100 LinkedIn connections to make 1 Facebook friend and 1,000 Facebook friends to make 1 Lover. Once you got to 1,000 Lovers, you won. The prize
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4to you wristwatch?" extending his arm to display a banged up Casio. I had no time for this. I was growing increasingly frantic and could feel my pulse in my throat. As I rushed out
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5the local yokels. We'd chew sunflower seeds and sip from growlers filled with potato moonshine out on the back porch. Anything to avoid a modern sound system. But when the banjo
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1while punishing some mortals and cat-sitting for God. So God busted him down to the bush leagues for a couple decades. Thor had to make a living as a professional wrestler just to