Finished Folds (3161—3180)
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3entrenched when he made Weird Al Yankovic's perennial smash hit "Spatula City" into reality. What better way to say "I love you" than with the gift of a spatula? He had 7 locations
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2he pulled down his pants and showed her. The audience all ran for the exit and the Medium came to with his pants around his ankles and Oprah
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4Who was he kidding; he knew he didn't. His only hope was to make a sausage sausage, with hot and sweet pepper wieners, apple-stuffed andouille, salami-filled kielbasawurst, all
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1/demolition derby. It wasn't for everyone but if you could pass it and still drive your car away you were ready for L.A. driving, no doubt. I showed up for the final exam in my
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3deep in the hood. Her game grew thicker, she drank brown liquor, dissed gold diggers. She'd learned to get them started early on the soft stuff and then give them a free taste of
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6He'd always been confused: if you could give a rat's ass did that mean you cared more, or less, than if you couldn't give a rat's ass. While seemingly inane, it was relevant to
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0I recommend you enroll in the witness protection program immediately." My credit was maxed out, my job was a drag, and my girl was stepping out on me, so I jumped at the chance.
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5she realized all the gay men she thought she was 'converting' were actually just straight dudes looking for a quick roll in the hay and playing the role she desired. After Joshua
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5Mensa meeting. This particular clan had developed a more refined palate and preferred only the finest gray matter. That night they feasted on scientists. Politicians remained safe.
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5Splitting my pants down the back during the big board meeting on the exact day that my wife had convinced me to go commando was not going to be good for my career though. My boss
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4was evidently filmed over a long weekend with a low pixel cellphone. The "camera man" must have suffered from Parkinson's disease. But still, Dolly and PeeWee
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6use words to describe my meaning. I had learned my lesson once when I gestured that I wanted my girlfriend to refill the pepper mill and she thought I meant
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2sackhop had been a poor choice and now she had her chance to take Momma Reed out for good. Rather than beat around the bush Mama Mabel laid down a duel challenge right off the bat.
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5The inaugural FoldCon was a smashing success. Fellow folders met, mingled, chatted, and had a grand old time. But when Santa Claus showed up with Mickey Mouse ears and scotchbreath
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0up through the ground and into his white linen suit creating a disgusting effect but also effecting a passable disguise. He'd looked like shit before - this was different. He leapt
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2he was pretty sure she could kick his ass. He'd seen her around the gym lately and she must have been juicing with that new P90X pill he was hearing so much about. He needed to get
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1most everything in her cupboards but if it was on sale, she'd buy it. Her kids had had diarrhea for weeks after the buy 1 get 3 free canned chili incident back in '09. Shelly would
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5Unfortunately for Helga, rule #2 of Goat Club was "No Helgas". Her husband had invented Goat Club after Helga started horning in on poker night. John now spent his nights in the tr
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3cycle expedition across the Andes. He'd be gone for another 3 weeks and she was so sex-starved she thought a square looked phallic. She put on the black undies (oh, yeah) and got
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3steadily injecting farts into the torn seats of my Alfa Romeo and wondering if I had time to stop at a street vendor to get some (in)famous Rio fish tacos. My gaze drifted to