Finished Folds (3161—3180)
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4goal of opening my own men's intimate apparel shop called Victor's Secret. I already had 8 members receiving my biweekly catalog and production was ramping up fast. Just yesterday
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5so I painstakingly shaped the recently deceased corpse into an exact replica of the soldiers raising the flag on Iwo Jima, flag included. You might think it impossible but with
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6I pressed Fn and held down that weird button with the squiggly lines and my garage door opened. I pressed Fn - reverse squiggly button and my oven self-cleaned. Next, I tried Fn
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5was younger, anyway. I mean, I wouldn't kick her out of bed or anything but the bloom's a little off the rose. I pull down 5 figures a year and can do between 5 and 10 pushups so I
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3NewWorldOrder.com "Lovers". It took 100 LinkedIn connections to make 1 Facebook friend and 1,000 Facebook friends to make 1 Lover. Once you got to 1,000 Lovers, you won. The prize
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4to you wristwatch?" extending his arm to display a banged up Casio. I had no time for this. I was growing increasingly frantic and could feel my pulse in my throat. As I rushed out
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5the local yokels. We'd chew sunflower seeds and sip from growlers filled with potato moonshine out on the back porch. Anything to avoid a modern sound system. But when the banjo
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1while punishing some mortals and cat-sitting for God. So God busted him down to the bush leagues for a couple decades. Thor had to make a living as a professional wrestler just to
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3entrenched when he made Weird Al Yankovic's perennial smash hit "Spatula City" into reality. What better way to say "I love you" than with the gift of a spatula? He had 7 locations
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2he pulled down his pants and showed her. The audience all ran for the exit and the Medium came to with his pants around his ankles and Oprah
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4Who was he kidding; he knew he didn't. His only hope was to make a sausage sausage, with hot and sweet pepper wieners, apple-stuffed andouille, salami-filled kielbasawurst, all
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1/demolition derby. It wasn't for everyone but if you could pass it and still drive your car away you were ready for L.A. driving, no doubt. I showed up for the final exam in my
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3deep in the hood. Her game grew thicker, she drank brown liquor, dissed gold diggers. She'd learned to get them started early on the soft stuff and then give them a free taste of
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6He'd always been confused: if you could give a rat's ass did that mean you cared more, or less, than if you couldn't give a rat's ass. While seemingly inane, it was relevant to
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0I recommend you enroll in the witness protection program immediately." My credit was maxed out, my job was a drag, and my girl was stepping out on me, so I jumped at the chance.
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5she realized all the gay men she thought she was 'converting' were actually just straight dudes looking for a quick roll in the hay and playing the role she desired. After Joshua
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5Mensa meeting. This particular clan had developed a more refined palate and preferred only the finest gray matter. That night they feasted on scientists. Politicians remained safe.
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5Splitting my pants down the back during the big board meeting on the exact day that my wife had convinced me to go commando was not going to be good for my career though. My boss
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4was evidently filmed over a long weekend with a low pixel cellphone. The "camera man" must have suffered from Parkinson's disease. But still, Dolly and PeeWee
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6use words to describe my meaning. I had learned my lesson once when I gestured that I wanted my girlfriend to refill the pepper mill and she thought I meant