Finished Folds (561—580)
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3never saw the attack coming. She was poised at her keyboard, ready to lay down 180 characters of sublime prose when a benevolent assailant kidnapper Heather and took her to Disney
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4Frank popped it in his mouth, chewed, frowned, then smiled. "Mmm, pretty good" he said & then violently exploded. Monty read "Warning, may cause spontaneous combustion. Oh. Oops."
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3. Jack kissed his fingers and touched them to the photo of his wife and child taped to the interior cockpit of the F-17 WarEagle. He released the safety, pegged the throttle and
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5cart through the parking lot and past a parked van. The van was rocking curiously back & forth. The hobo architect really should have kept working but his curiosity got the better
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4why he was getting such strange looks. Perhaps his personal grooming habits were out of touch with the current styles. Noticing a barbershop, he stopped in for a quick trim.
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6a long wooden kazoo. One mom always laughed when the other mom played it but he couldn't quite figure out why. One day he & his two mothers were jamming in the garage when a stray
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6a panty and pasty party nor a paltry pantry pastry. I needed a drink and some time to think. I pulled out of my soaked clothes and stepped into the shower. She came in to say
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3as a switch hitter playing for the other team?" "Wait, are you talking about that kid out of Green Bay who hit .390 last season?" "No" said the bookie, "It's that series based in
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5Princess Leia in the gold bikini impersonator. Sure Leia was a brunette but the clientele didn't seem to mind Boochie's performances one bit. Tonight Boochie was called upon by her
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4and every story kills a snow porpoise. Haven't heard of a snow porpoise? Yeah, they disappeared shortly after Slim Whitman joined the fun. Every FS 'like' causes a swift kick to
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3eam from the corners of his mouth and stared through the bars. Ban Ki was confused. People said 'be yourself' but every time he was himself he'd get sued or arrested. Every time.
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4said "Aw Linus, lighten up. Come ovva here & looffa my stretch marks. Be a good boy." "Ma!" Linus begged. "You're buck nude in the front yard! Here comes the mailman!" Sure enough
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10Or was it frustrussian? The dialects of geo-puns are notoriously Turikey. Especially without Germaney anchors to the conversation. "I just Kamchatka'd all over Ma's Dagascar!" Chad
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4was also fat. Albert was so fat he changed his name to Fat. Fat was so envious of Fusbuster's incoming wealth tornado that he sabotaged the entire dog smile cleaning operation by
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3The best meal I ever ate was
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1One (1) piece Extra Dessert Delights Sugarfree Lemon Square gum + one (1) Stride Sour Patch Kids Sugarfree Redberry gum. Boom; you're welcome. Hello sweet/sour lemon/raspberry wate
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5had a donghonker Blanche simply could not ignore. When a woman gets to be a certain age there are certain things that used to be out-of-bounds that aren't any more. Or so I'm told.
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3then failed him. As he went into cardiac arrest he floated up out of his body & into the clouds; the bare chest of the former first lady being the last sight of his very full life.
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2Zeke dipped and ducked along the coast, then caught an updraft and landed at Pebble Beach. Zeke unhitched and climbed on his mower. Zombie apocalypse aside, the PGA Tour was start
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4The Walrus smoked a great curved pipe & wore an elaborate monocle. "You seek the snail killer, but you'll not find him here Detective." Manatee could see the shadow of du Gong behi