Finished Folds (661—680)
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4determined that I was pregnant with the unborn child of a dancing midget. What's more, the test revealed that the female snail penis count was going down. I had a lot to digest and
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3But just so I know what we're dealing with here why don't we take it from the top. You don't mind if I record this do you? OK great. So, what were you saying about multiples again?
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1His face was blank. With every word of Grandpa's song, Billy's brain had slowed down until he'd entered a comatose state reminiscent of frontal lobotomy patients. Grandpa's plan wa
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5Twerk: verb. To gyrate one's hips up and down with the buttocks extended to elicit a bouncing in the gluteous maximus. Rump shaking. Webster IV looked up his next submission:
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5My wife wanted out of our marriage so I concocted a plan whereby my wife would seduce crazy Melinda's husband. Melinda & I would pretend to be devastated & then we'd live happily
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3under the glass coffee table. The cops banged on the door. "Open up! We have a warrant for your arrest!" The door splintered apart and a SWAT team rushed in. They didn't notice
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5Sawyer BeDoyer looked up and noticed they were standing under the mistletoe. An uncomfortable silence ensued. St. Nick cleared his throat. "So, uh, counselor, where are we on the
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1"Imp, who do we have on our wait list?" The imp unfurled a long scroll. "Yes Satan, we have Kim Jong-Il, Muammar Gaddafi, Osama bin Laden, and Nate Dogg." "Nate Dogg? Who's that?"
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4have it within you to forgive me?! How was I to know that lettuces were sentient?! Let me live!" She shook her head back and forth and gestured at my compost pile. It was littered
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3Jaden had a unique mutation that allowed him to transmit the electric energy generated inside his body into an external source simply by touching it. He could power up a battery ju
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2The clerk just laughed when I came back in the store. "Told yo!" he gloated. "Yeah, well, I thought it was three-fourths but it was really six-eights." Wait a minute. That's when I
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5Everyone has their million dollar idea, just most people don't act on it. Mine was different flavors of floss. You know, cherry, orange, chocolate soufflé. I got the idea when I wa
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4fireax off the wall. I began smashing zombie skulls and didn't stop until the bar was cleared of them. Panting, I leaned back against the bar. "Ahh, now where's the Grey Goose?"
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2I began to realize that I couldn't look away. Then the boy in the photo smiled at me, waved, and walked off into the snow. I tried to frown but I was frozen, captured in a reverse
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3was used to some pretty cynical responses when he toured the local watering holes offering free foot ailment diagnoses. But to his credit, he walked right up to the old man and
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1homosexual encounter. The experience hadn't been for him but he wasn't one to leave things to chance. 'Try everything once' was his motto. Austin didn't recognize him though
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3found a hand already there. Her eyes followed the hand up past a stylish suit to the most stunning face she'd ever seen. A living, breathing Greek God of a man stood smiling at her
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4Should sex be used as a reward (do this and I'll do that)? A threat (do this or I'll do that)? An identity (be a man)? A fill-in-the-blank bubble (M, F, Other)? Should marital sex
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3I had. It was moist and delicious. I didn't regret it. I said "The consumer of the ding dong is irrelevant to these proceedings. In point of fact, harboring an Atelerix albiventris
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5Are you embarrassed by your chronic affluence? Ever been trapped in a crowded elevator with your own affluence? Are you excluded from social groups due to audible affluence? Then