Finished Folds (981—1000)
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2At the intersection of concentration, logic, and luck, we have
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3Not Being a Complete Ass. You'd think 3 billion+ chances would be enough, but no. Mother Earth had never yet encountered a boy who Understood. They were all different gradations of
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7regular Red Bulls in aisle 2, then moved on to jumbo sized cans of Monster and finished with a 32 oz. Dr. Energy's CarboBlast. Little Lex was awake now. The 7-Eleven clerk said
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4the uncatchable. Of dust we're made and to dust we will return. Some of us sooner than others.
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5lied the white dwarf. "Oh, very droll, you degenerate stellar remnant. If I wasn't so busy absorbing absolutely everything near me I'd have half a mind to come over there and
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5My personal trainer's motto is: If you don't have to change your underwear after a workout then I've failed at my job. I was sore all over and just a few gains away from my goal of
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8Her skin had the texture, color, and scent of a perfectly roasted marshmallow. Her hair was like a sheet of black plastic and her eyes were green diamonds. I held
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9This boy was strange. What 12-year-old was fluent in multiple languages and spoke of his top-secret company? She looked around at the other Nectarine Pit customers. They were all
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5training." "Oh, swell." he said. "Because I don't really have any proctology education in the classical sense. It's really more of an acquired appreciation. Take the left cheek
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3. Ace started laughing and soon sprained his scrotal retractor muscle. With testicles akin to two giant cherries bouncing along the pavement, Ace attempted to cover Wanda's breasts
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4but the Tinman was greedy as well as heartless so he took three. After installing all three hearts the Tinman began acting very oddly. What he didn't realize
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5Joe Momma to pick up your conference name tags. Also I need to see Dick Al Mighty. The audience members were either mortified or uproarious. Apparently the emcee didn't realize
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6y warning signal, but it had no mandibles, no beak, no teeth & no claws. Thus the Squawkopeteri quickly became endangered, prompting caveman Ugg to start the Save The Squawkopeteri
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6sh muffin salesman who works all of Asia." "Oh, how interesting" nodded Ted, the third quadruplet from the left. "Maybe we can join you sometime on a trip?" Stacy asked "Did you ju
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7He thought he was alone. Well he wasn't really thinking it, he just thought it without thinking it, like how you think about if you need to go to the bathroom. You don't really
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4. I'd have to snort some grass, shoot some V, smoke a little horse. If I was gonna make it through this I might have to drink a few rocks. I didn't sign up for no slap n tickle.
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2Scout43B Travel Log: I've found a new source of energy. I left a scent trail and am en route back to the Queen's chamber. If all goes as planned I should arrive in T-14 hours.
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4tal institutions still use shock therapy to retrain the mind. It's also a little known fact that 90% of American mental institutions are a complete waste of time. I should know.
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5have spectacularly failed the two square test. Crappy results indeed. I realized I had to take matters into my own hands. For obvious reasons, I needed a brand of toilet paper that
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9t is further enhanced by my tee shirt which reads EAT ME. In the rare instance that a dieter exhibits substantial willpower, I'll up the ante by erotically lapping the icing off my