Finished Folds (961—980)
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7wife beaters as her panties. Her license plate read I69Bingo. Her breath was horseradish and sauerkraut emanating from betwixt a Grizzly Adams mustache and a President Taft chin.
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6play If You Like the Smell of Poop then Come See this Play. Because that's what you're going to get. I give it one toilet bowl out of five. ~signed little Timmy Jenkins.
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3On my way to the local asshattery to pick my ass up a new hat I stopped in the cupcakerie for a red velvet and a cup. A retired haberdasher took note of my chapeau and quipped
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5So he said "Wellll...?" I said "What you're asking is basically like asking if 2+5 is the same as 3+4. It is and it isn't. Asking is just an exercise in
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5having to do some actual research, i.e. work, I decided to call it quits. Meh. It was a message from some guy, good enough. I figured it probably said Good Job or something like th
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2I decided to visit Shangra La first, because according to my GPS it was right near Valhala and I had a powerful thirst for some mead. Just past the Bermuda Triangle, I took a left
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6recreated and I too would become FLASH, ah, ah, savior of the universe! All that had happened so far was two severe chemical burns and a forfeited rental deposit. But tonight
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5nasty name in the book. After a typical phone convo the swear jar is overflowing with penance. I plopped a pretty penny in that petty penance pot. Mom would be in my alley in just
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4some serious ass when my electroshock anger management therapy unexpectedly kicked in. I said "Excuse me sir but your seatback has inconvenienced me. Would you please raise it?" He
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8The scientists and councellors were baffled. He seemed normal: steady job, house, wife, kids. And yet his sense of humor had stalled out at an 8-year-old's level. At Board Meetings
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8As Gordon sat there I could smell his unpleasant nerves. His resume was more than adequate but I didn't know if he had that "it" factor we needed. I said "Mr. Durasno, please
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4It was a classic example of the age-old question:
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2At the intersection of concentration, logic, and luck, we have
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3Not Being a Complete Ass. You'd think 3 billion+ chances would be enough, but no. Mother Earth had never yet encountered a boy who Understood. They were all different gradations of
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7regular Red Bulls in aisle 2, then moved on to jumbo sized cans of Monster and finished with a 32 oz. Dr. Energy's CarboBlast. Little Lex was awake now. The 7-Eleven clerk said
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4the uncatchable. Of dust we're made and to dust we will return. Some of us sooner than others.
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5lied the white dwarf. "Oh, very droll, you degenerate stellar remnant. If I wasn't so busy absorbing absolutely everything near me I'd have half a mind to come over there and
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5My personal trainer's motto is: If you don't have to change your underwear after a workout then I've failed at my job. I was sore all over and just a few gains away from my goal of
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8Her skin had the texture, color, and scent of a perfectly roasted marshmallow. Her hair was like a sheet of black plastic and her eyes were green diamonds. I held
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9This boy was strange. What 12-year-old was fluent in multiple languages and spoke of his top-secret company? She looked around at the other Nectarine Pit customers. They were all