Finished Folds (1321—1340)
-
4gered by his own mirror image. Squawkers' doppelganger was just like him, only freakier, with enlarged caricatured versions of parrot secondary sex characteristics. For example,
-
4which celebrities were banging other celebrities. The Talkonauts favorite food was tacos, favorite invention: the walkie-talkie, favorite movie: The Talk of the Town. Silence
-
5"There, how does that feel?" "Oh, you put it in already?" Chuckle. "Yes, I told you it was small. We're going to put another one in. How's that?" "Fine, I guess." Acupuncture
-
2sauce, far from special. But Councilman Dumpty had learned a thing or two. He had all the king's horses and all the king's men write letters of support to Mayor McCheese's opponent
-
2dick. He'd been sampling and perfecting various fart tricks since kindergarten. Derdie mastered the fart-in-your-hand throw-it-in-your-face classic but also invented the fart-
-
6not know what a preposition was. Three years in grammar time-out hadn't melted this old man's resolve one bit. "You want another three years? You got it!" yelled the professor.
-
2Like the kind of person you think fondly of but when you see them you're like 'oh, look at the time, bye!' Johnson's burns were looking really bad until Johnson's brother, Johnson
-
6accomplished. He looked down at his Honey Do list: Pillage, Plunder, Riot, Pick up dry cleaning, Loot, Contact Wilford Brimley, Contribute to group stories, Rend asunder. Hagar
-
6he self-righteously attempted to rid the world of multiple bottles of bourbon each evening. Usually somewhere around the second or third bottle Father Joe would find himself
-
0that Mr. Cunk's junk smelt of funk spunk. Mr. Funk & Mr. Cunk both jumped up to strangle Mrs. Cunk but she gave them both a lump with a thump from her rump. Chairman Philomena Cunk
-
2kind enough to provide a transcendent amalgamation of web-based tips and insider tricks for Clare's instructional writing presentation. Instead, a horde of unshaven, malnourished
-
4The clerk felt a sharp sting on his neck and then passed out. Whiskers laid the spare tranc gun down while Mr. Cuddlesnug pushed the cart loaded with tuna cans into the truck.
-
7I couldn't concentrate at all after I noticed her there in the waiting room casually flipping through a Playboy. My car had been ready for 45 minutes but I thought I'd stick around
-
6"An exponent is a small number (boobs) written at the top right (sex) corner of a number (thighs rub together) that tells you to multiply (nipples) as many times ... Johnny? Would
-
3a life-form evolved that consisted of individuals composed of 180 characters of text. One such individual, let's call him 'Bob' arrived on Earth today. When he landed he said
-
0took the brunt of the attack as I fell back into my closet. My lightsaber was no match for lil sis's hockey stick, but if I could turn out the lights my Explorer's Club nightvision
-
8The moral of this story is that sometimes taking a different path to a known destination can change the way we travel forevermore. Our tale begins with two friends in a coffeeshop
-
9episode and if we're not being boycotted by at least two accredited human rights group by the end of the first season, you're fired." I was confident I could meet Comedy Central's
-
4but nervous. If they found out she was a girl she'd likely wish for death's release before the ordeal was through. Still, she'd come this far, there was no turning back. Her sword
-
6is tonight. In Lot B! I promptly soiled my silk boxers as Bouncing Betty obliterated my tricked-out Lambo. Karma's all too real; live and learn.