Finished Folds (1301—1320)
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2& the other half wasn't very good with numbers. Still, life in SciFi town grew on us. My wife found a nice Dr. Who ran a practice called The Twilight Zone. Somebody I didn't even
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3He had several so I said "Clap if you're horny!" and threw the pill on the ground. Everyone around except us exploded into applesauce. "Damn!" said the future man. "My bad. Here, t
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5the birth rate remained steady. The world's population was rising unsustainably. All the great thinkers postulated different remedies for the side-effects of the Norris Paradox.
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6billow gloriously in the wind as Bessie the flying SuperCow careened off-course, crashing into the windmill and then crushing two ducks and a chicken upon landing. I spewed milk
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5-lined air sickness bag that I found in the seatback pocket. With that task complete I unwrapped my tuna salad sandwich and kicked off my shoes. Right away, some psycho sitting in
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7the giant stash of hoarded Fruit 'n Fiber cereal had resulted in a somewhat unexpected cleansing period for Capt. Cork. He'd had to drop anchor three times already this morning and
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4, then jerked to a harsh stop & threw his flabby arm against my chest, lingering for a few extra seconds. "Hey! Take it easy!" I protested. "Don't flatter yourself dear, I was just
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3He was 6' 4", 240, and wore a lot of flannel. Drank whiskey like water and killed all his own meat. Was apolitical but felt passionately that Jacob was Bella's true soulmate. When
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5was pornographic to these teetotalers, what with all those devil's blocks sliding in and out of slots. Filthy game. It got to be exhausting cataloging all the sin. Their mini-van
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5last laugh. The Norwegian paid the Nigerian in drachmas which caused Nigeria's economy to instantly collapse. The Norwegian shorted the Nigerian market and made a killing which he
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5Honey Badger don't give an F'n S about no A's. Until one day Honey Badger met the Sheriff who cared even less. Sheriff said "Badgers? We don't need no stinking badgers." A singing
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4of a life quickly was reduced to a single unit of robot production or maintenance. A human life was valuable insofar as it helped sustain the robot population. You'd be surprised
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2viewing room where his major milestones and critical life moments were summarized. The Decision Panel pointed out to Ned the reasons why he was slated for Hell. After the review,
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3he was replying to Big Bob but without actually speaking. "What?" said Big Bob. "... for 12 ... sloppy ... crickets. Right?!" said the bartender and then he burst out laughing.
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6folds to make. If things went as planned a series of faked "natural" disasters would fold Canada up into the shape of a proper tophat for America to wear. After that, Mexico would
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5getting tired during all of the bagging of various teas the retirement home orderlies had them doing. Grandpa Joe tea-bagged for 36 hours straight the other day until he passed out
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4A new Pope has been announced! Hailing from Taiwan, he is the first Asian Pope in history. Pope Nin Ja has vowed to bring stealthy & lethal social justice to the world. Pope Nin Ja
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1Blinded by inspiration from the recent Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue I painted some board shorts on myself and headed down to the beach.
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3If recent history is a decent indicator, my day will probably go something like this: Wake up to kids fighting. Yell at them until they eat their cereal. Drive older boy to school,
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8before going to bed. The next morning at 6am every knife in the house was razor sharp & Wilbur presented Agnes with a notarized $2M term policy. He said "Time to make big wompum."