Finished Folds (401—420)
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2's co-executives worked out a counter deal:Frank would relinquish his hold of the door, & they'd consider using a DIFFERENT dog in the next sausage batch.Frank barked his decision:
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3wanted ads for a job that paid more the less you worked. "Wanted: A tester for Evil Scientist video games" Should be a cinch! But upon arriving he was strapped into a scary looking
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4from all crimes comitted in the vicinity & focused entirely on ME:"Exit your vehicle & keep your paws where we can see them!" "What, officers, is it illegal to wear a rabbit suit?"
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4The hi-tec butane torch flickered eerily. Those assembled around the seance table shuddered. "It's a signal from the beyond!" cried the medium. "Battery at 15%!" said the torch.
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3The salivating audiences watching the commercial were unaware of the pathos surrounding Ed's immersion in flour & being bagged & thrown into an oven & pooping. The less you know...
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4passing tank ran him over. Ouch! David was devastated; the whole night buddies were being killed in front of him. Who was next? The quartermaster approached:"I made sausage.."BOOM!
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1mass destruction & settled for a flame thrower. He aimed it at the lousy door & fired away: "Here's for making a booboo on my finger!" The door was soon toast, but his house was on
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4He was dragged before the heavenly tribunal with pie slice in 1 hand & slopping cup of joe in the other.The celestial magistrate intoned:I'M STARVED! We're hitting that diner. NOW.
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2Anonymous, a support group for individuals who obsessively need to say the opposite. "Isn't the weather pleasant?" asked Jen. "It sucks," replied Sal. "It exhales!" insisted Alex.
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2ed into the Chief's open mouth & blocked his windpipe.Smart chose that moment to activate the Cone of Silence:"It's finally working! Can't hear a word you're saying, Chief." "Arghh
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3stare at the wide open fly of my boxers. Next I knew, I was handed a sceptre & a crown was placed on my head. "Long live the new ruler of Weiner King!" the workers chanted in awe.
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4shop lifting! The nerve! Now a rent-a-cop removes & upends my raincoat whose many pockets rain all kinds of merch. "I didn't buy the coat...it's still yours! YOU'RE the thieves!" I
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4It began with the murder-mystery party host, plump Lord Threebutts, dying upon imbibing his drink which obviously was poisoned. The guests just had to know: was his name justified?
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3tually, Joe ran out of flypaper. Billions of pissed-off bereaved flies seeking vengeance needed no 2nd invite. His head in the aquarium & feet on the BBQ, Joe died in fire & water.
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11quest for self discovery. After some deep soul searching, she knew what she had to do. "I wish to take my vows!" she had told the convent's prioress, the one she saved for last...
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4son, who was born in the driveway beside the front passenger door, & inherited his dad's forgetfulness. He's a scientist, & was in charge of testing the Challenger's O-ring seals.
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7history when his performance brought the judges on "Sailors Got Talent" to tears.Had his frenetic stompings not made holes below decks & sank the ship...you got lucky, Baryshnikov!
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6chocolate fudge cheese crust pie with applesauce & frog eyes toppings (they were too into each other to notice), & held hands as they lay side by side having their stomachs pumped.
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5was spared, because it was Samsonite. It was then she realized the value of brand names. "Leave the nice bailiff's body parts alone," she cooed to her babies "Only Purina for you!"
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4doorstep. I felt a surge of warmth...he was marking ME as his turf! "Oh, Darling..." I hugged him, ignoring the pee drizzling on my stockings. "You stupid cow!" he sputtered "I was