Finished Folds (941—960)
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1We staged a reading of his poems in the school auditorium, but most of the students and staff fell asleep. To the principal's dismay, the school board chose that day to inspect
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3the water sloshed in a frothing stream towards our principal, Mr. Peahead. He couldn't stop his momentum in time, and his feet gave way from under him, tossing him on his bottom
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4and offered me some, even though she knew I was allergic to it, and could die within seconds of ingesting it. She gave me a dumb look and said: "What? You no like? Want I order you
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1a crone to have two whole coffins on standby. She would try a different one of them each night, alternating between the oak and the pine. Once, she gave quite a fright to a burglar
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5"Actually, Majesty, the feast is for your successor. We have something a bit different planned for you at the beheading block." Seeing her shock, the viceroy promised to save her a
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4would it be preferable to tend to my homework, rather than risk my neck for innocents? Finally, Jenna decided that selflessly playing League of Legends was the right thing to do.
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4We were a polyglot of political leaders, getting ready for nationwide elections. The stench of manure permeated all- it was the only item we had in abundance. We delivered moving
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3She charged at me without further ado, displaying what she had carried in with her: a necrotic lung of a smoker, as well as one of a healthy non-smoker. "This is what your smoking
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2had the forsight to play bowling. Golf, however, was all the doc played, and he realized letting go of the ball he was holding above my head would merely tickle me. It looked like
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5Meanwhile, unaware of the mortal danger he was in, Kanye West began preparing for his latest album: "Gonna live forever, let someone try and stop me!". The shapeshifting robohitman
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1He immediately swerved his semi-trailer to the side of the freeway, donned his derby, and alighted from the cab. From the back of his truck he produced a table and a porcelain teap
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3all the hyperbole, the above just means James badly needed to use the john while defending a client in court in front of a malicious judge, and thus closed his arguments in tap da
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1a hypnotist chanced by who would intuitively walk in and break the spell brought on by the globs of Hubba Bubba we accidently sat down on many hours ago, gluing us to this spot
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3Moments later, pandemonium erupted, as patrons scurried all over in search of oxygen masks. My horrible date now slumped at the table, unconscious. Those beans burned- but worked!
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3groveled in front of him and called him 'Exalted One'. So, not having him to ask, who did that leave? Wait... I could Google it!
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2kept going "ok, whatever... we'll talk later...", but it was no use. She was furious and refused to hang up. "How can you be this way?" she barked at him. "Do you want me to leave
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3The maintenance man stood stock still, key held out in front of him. Had he heard correctly? Was he in a position to save the election & the US by leaving Hillary and Bernie locked
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1which made him look like Miley Cyrus's identical twin. Strutting in his costume down a crowded street, he gleefully handed out autographs to unsuspecting Miley fans. He felt famous
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2her eyes ablaze: "Don't you know these must be kept in water!? What kind of care provider are you?! Do we pay you a salary so that my Grammy won't be able to chew her Cracker Jacks
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2and here I am, still working at the same post office, but with two decades worth of tending to whining clients under my belt. Glancing around the diner, I fingered the Glock in my