Finished Folds (21—40)
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2. I recoiled in horror: "Trying to give me Covid?! Take me to your leader." I was escorted to the Daily Llama, who was rattling off headlines: "Biden Threatens to Ban Fortune Cooki
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4pharmaceutical commercials & their endless warnings. "What's the point of taking a drug that cures bunions if it's almost certain to give you tuberculosis?!" they railed. The Sun
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3suck the blood seeping from my arm. Blinded by sunlight, she began to open her lips just as an outhouse pipe burst & emptied its unsavory load into her. (Countess Chocula, Origins)
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3The poor clown urgently tried to signal by pointing at his missing head, but the crowd was too committed to notice anything was wrong. How he longed to shake his head in disbelief!
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9& barked excitedly at the geyser cascading out of the lady's mouth. She tried to squeeze her lips shut, but the spit pressure created a steady outpour of Niagara proportions. Then
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6" The phone rang & the operator eagerly answered: "Bunglia Records, can I take your order?" "How can we call if you didn't leave a #?" "You're right, Sir, & you're creeping me out!
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4Dr. Calamari put Vegan under deep hypnosis & returned her to childhood to trace the source. Turns out her psychosis began hen she witnessed her dad eating a live, hairy, squirming
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7He held out a bandage-swathed appendage:"Put it there, son." "No! You're old & you stink!" Mom was shocked, but I wasn't gonna star in "Eddie Has Two Mummies". "Mom, either he goes
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2Mr. Peanut exulted, "I'm reborn!" He gasped as his shell rose from the pile of dead & performed a back somersault. Sadly, his top hat fell mid-flight & his hold on the trapeze bar
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4Meanwhile, the taco truck continued its journey, leaving behind it a wake of gastrointestinal devastation. Its owner got smart & hitched a porta-potty truck to it, charging $5 a cr
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2s firing away. The odor almost choked Elon, but the portal opened once more & Gram crossed into the world of the living. "Gramp was cheating on me!" she gasped, grabbing a shotgun
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6That's how I met your mom. You see, kids, my dog's charred bum made for the choicest rump steak ever. Me & the vet had it on our first date..& every anniversary since. Now tuck in!
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3. Even using a bullhorn, the police negotiator could barely be heard: "Sir, for not jumping I am authorized to offer you- A. a 2-for-the-price-of-1 vacation, B. a year's supply of
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3At dinner, Captain Walton turned to us:"Which of my illustrious passengers am I privileged to be dining with?" I coughed:"Actually, we're a pair of hobos you weirdly invited on-boa
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13stamps. The invitations were sent out & dog connoisseurs from the neighborhood arrived & fastened napkins to their necks. They all attributed Salazar's deliciousness to the sauce.
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5"See the man with 6 buttholes!" cried the circus barker. Thus began my great-grandpa's illustrious career, first with a fertilizer company, then as a drug mule able to smuggle huge
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3offset the damages I was assessed in the civil suit for my role in the New York Nuke incident, the TRUE details of which you can read in my book, assuming you weren't a New Yorker.
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2est hideout. They returned to the bank on Monday & robbed it for $500,000, but the manager convinced them to invest it in a "foolproof savings plan". "We'll be rich!" Moe enthused
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2them on top of her sleeping hubby. He began convulsing in his sleep, muttering: "Not my wife's cooking!!" She bristled with indignation; hadn't he always COMPLIMENTED her culinary
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4from the gun barrels of local Swiss militiamen. Luckily, their aim was off, having not fought anyone in ages. But their barrage of chocolate bars proved deadly. After eating 20, I