Finished Folds (21—40)
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2bathroom door and hugrily poured over the porn he'd just confiscated. To his dismay, the head of the man in the next stall appeared from under the partition: "Pardon, ran out of TP
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1marry me." Awesome, she'd save loads on her hair which she cut in a bob. "Oh, Yes! But, Aubrey, what of your booze issues." "I'm 100% sober. Now, let's find a plumber to marry us o
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1k eye: "Once you've vacated your bowels, there is no way back." I stared balefully at the steaming pile of poo amassed before his throne and wondered what use his kingdom had for
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3the meltdown that rocked your world an hour ahead of your flight. At security, your giant pants which rose to your chin did not escape notice: "I'm gonna need you to take those off
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3, as she was now called, had changed her name from Katie! How dare she do that without consulting her fans?! An angry mob converged on her house & she was dragged to the stake.
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3the world: "My fellow Americans," I said into the mic, my voice resonating with pathos "the long wait is over. My constipation has officially ended!" The news hit the nation like a
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3Glock & fired 3 carefully spaced shots through the door. Trembling, she opened it to find the DoorDash guy, a shortish dude, mortally wounded. To her relief, the pizza was face up!
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4which perhaps explains the absence of appetite and chronic vomiting that characterized mealtime. "How do you stay so skinny?" people would ask. "Skating," he'd answer honestly.
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3The performance attendees were horrified at the brown sludge seeping from under the violinist, who, mortified, cried:"I thought it was just a fart!" The soloist echoed:"He thought
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4ly. My instincts were honed by my Homeland Security training, but my hearing wasn't stellar: "You say he was at the heart of the 9/11 attack?!" "No, I.." Angrily, I wrestled him to
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3. I recoiled in horror: "Trying to give me Covid?! Take me to your leader." I was escorted to the Daily Llama, who was rattling off headlines: "Biden Threatens to Ban Fortune Cooki
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1my #1 author doesn't mean we can't hook up!" King dropped to his knees & rung his hands together: "Please don't imprison me & feed me my own thumb! I'll order you a lifetime supply
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4pharmaceutical commercials & their endless warnings. "What's the point of taking a drug that cures bunions if it's almost certain to give you tuberculosis?!" they railed. The Sun
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3suck the blood seeping from my arm. Blinded by sunlight, she began to open her lips just as an outhouse pipe burst & emptied its unsavory load into her. (Countess Chocula, Origins)
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4The poor clown urgently tried to signal by pointing at his missing head, but the crowd was too committed to notice anything was wrong. How he longed to shake his head in disbelief!
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9& barked excitedly at the geyser cascading out of the lady's mouth. She tried to squeeze her lips shut, but the spit pressure created a steady outpour of Niagara proportions. Then
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6" The phone rang & the operator eagerly answered: "Bunglia Records, can I take your order?" "How can we call if you didn't leave a #?" "You're right, Sir, & you're creeping me out!
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4Dr. Calamari put Vegan under deep hypnosis & returned her to childhood to trace the source. Turns out her psychosis began hen she witnessed her dad eating a live, hairy, squirming
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7He held out a bandage-swathed appendage:"Put it there, son." "No! You're old & you stink!" Mom was shocked, but I wasn't gonna star in "Eddie Has Two Mummies". "Mom, either he goes
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2Mr. Peanut exulted, "I'm reborn!" He gasped as his shell rose from the pile of dead & performed a back somersault. Sadly, his top hat fell mid-flight & his hold on the trapeze bar